What I Would do for Love
by RitaBoBita
Summary: Sequel to Remus's new pants. Picks up where other left off. slash. don't like don't read. RLSB with JPLE on the side. James needs help, Peter makes some new friends, and Remus and Sirius's love is being tested.
1. Chapter 1

**'Ello peoples! Okidoke, well, this is the sequel. I decided to write it because enough people wanted me to add more chapters, but I thought that this would be easier. **

**This one picks up exactly where the other one left off.**

**Disclaimer: all belongs to Jo, and clotted cream-ness belongs to Blackadder.**

**So, as Julian's panda shirt said: enjoi.**

0

I was sitting down to breakfast with Peter. Evans had just sent a rather nasty curse my way, but with my profound quidditch skills, I dodged it and blew her a kiss. She so wants me.

"Where are Sirius and Remus?" Peter asked from across the table.

"I dunno. Perchance they were making out in a broom closet somewhere." I waggled my eyebrows suggestively at Peter. He is so fun to mess with. I know I shouldn't, but… um… actually, I can't think of an excuse for that one.

Peter squirmed in his seat.

Just then, two of my favorite people came bursting into the great hall, hand in hand. I was just about to call out to them when-

0o

"Oh my."

"Lupin and Black? Really?"

"Who'da thunk it?"

"How can they _breath_?"

"They're gonna have to come up for air eventually."

"That's hot."

A bunch of girls were taking pictures with cameras they had magically conjured. Why they would like to see that horrifying spectacle again, I have no idea.

Padfoot and Moony broke away from each other. Sirius smiled and waved, then dragged a thoroughly embarrassed Remus to where Peter and I were sitting.

"Hiya James! Peaty. " he nodded to a very white Peter.

"Whoa, am I hungry. I'm so hungry, that if there was food in front of me, I would eat it."

"Really, now?" came Moony's soft drawl. "So you are saying, that if there was food, you would eat it. Is that what I'm hearing? Yes? Well, then, my studies are complete."

Sirius looked frightened.

"What studies? What have you done to me? Am I a muntant?!"

"It's _mutant_, Sirius. And no, none of that. I have concluded that you are thicker than a bowl of clotted cream, that's been left out by some clot, and is so clotted that you couldn't un-clot it with an electric de-clotter."

"Oh that's all, then? I was beginning to get worried, there. Can't have you messing with my best mate's head." I broke through my initial state of shock to join the discussion.

At this point, I tuned out as my fellows tucked into their breakfasts with replenished enthusiasm. (Eat like garbage dumps, that lot.)

And I realized something. No matter how awkward this was, they had both found someone. And I was truly happy for them.

Wait a minute, Wormtail had a girlfriend, Moony and Padfoot had each other, but poor little Prongsie's all alone…

…Now, where might Evans have gone off to? Since these two don't seem to want to go through with our plans today, maybe she'll go to hogsmede with me…

"Oy! Evans! Wanna go to-"

SMACK! 

Well, it was worth a try.

0

Well, Remus proved I'm stupider than he thought, but James seems to be okay with us! You know, my heart is just so light that I think I might start floating. Oh wait, I really am floating.

"What the hell?"

"Sirius! Get down from there!"

"I can't! What's happening?!"

"Somebody get Dumbledore! Quick!"

Good ol' Bumbly arrived with Minnie, as I like to call her, hovering over his shoulder, and looking nervous as the mice she catches in her cat form.

"Professor, you must do something!" So much for teachers keeping their cool in a strange situation…

My feet were just about touching the top of the bench I was just sitting on. I flapped my arms and found to my great delight, that I would go higher. I tried it a few more times. Doing summersaults and flips. Going one way, then the other. What fun! What joy! What-

**OOMPH.**

I groaned.

Apparently, Professor Dumbledore had preformed some sort of charm to make me stop flying. Bah! He was just jealous! I bet he's wanted to learn to fly all his life! Then when someone else actually does it, bam! Down they come. Stupid old lazy-

"Mr. Black, please be more conscientious of what goes in you goblet next time you take a drink." His midnight blue robes swirled around him as he walked out of the great hall.

Stunned, I turned my head back to my friends shocked faces…

…Just in time to see Peter tuck a small vial back into his book bag.

0

**DUN DUN DUUUUUN!**

**Okay, I know, that one sucked, but I promise that they'll get better! And I'm also really sorry that this one is so short.**

**Please please PLEASE tell me what you think. Give me advice/suggestions/criticism PLEASE! I love to hear what you all have to think. It means so much to me.**

**THANK YOU FOR READING!!!!! **

**oxo**

**-Rita**


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: **all belongs to JKR 

NOTE: The password I use in this chapter for the common room actually IS in the books. I didn't make it up. So _HA_!

Peter's Spotlight 

Freaks. That's all I have to say about them. Boys aren't supposed to like boys. It's not natural. Not normal. Not conventional. Wrong.

Yet I can't help but sneak peeks at him during class when no one is watching. Or get the picture of him out of my head. Bloody hell, I can't even dream anymore without him…_interrupting_ my dreamworld.

Sirius doesn't deserve him. What is so special about Sirius anyways? He's loud, rude, obnoxious, mean, etc. Although, I will admit, he is rather gifted in the looks department, but that doesn't excuse him from everything else he is! Sirius doesn't depend on him like I do! Sirius isn't there, waiting patiently, in the library while he's finishing a new book! Sirius isn't there whe- I love him! There! I said it. I love Remus bloody Lupin. Sure, having a girlfriend is great, but I'll never get the one I want. He'll never love me back. I just know it. He looks so happy with Sirius. Why won't be so happy with me? I hate it. I hate him. They're freaks. Abominations.

Just like me.

You know, they say that the most homophobic people are the ones who are gay themselves.

…And how right they are.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

"Come _on_, Remus!" I pulled his hand along the gloomy corridors. He laughed. A sound that sent tingles down my back. It was just after our "big" breakfast. I had cunningly persuaded Prongs and Wormtail to go to Hogsmede without us today. This is easier said than done, but with a quick lie about how James and Peter always had the _best_ pranking ideas, and that I couldn't _possibly_ come up with any good ideas today, they set off. Ha. Oh, the cleverness of me. Hey! Why are you rolling your eyes? Psh. You're just jealous. I know it. sticks out tongue Hell yes, I'm mature. Now, enough of this rambling. Onwards with the story. (Shame on you for distracting me. Tsk tsk.)

Unable to resist him much longer, I rushed us along, until we reached the portrait. Gasping out the current password, _snargaluff_, I briefly let go of his hand in order to step through. I turned back to see if he made it through the hole. Oh, come on. I was paranoid! What if something dire happened to my dear Moonykins? How would I _ever_ survive?

Remus smiled sweetly at me. I smiled sweetly at Remus. then, I reached for his hand, and to help him through the portrait hole. When he was standing besides me once more, I grinned and placed a chaste kiss to his lips. A couple of people who hadn't left the common room yet wolf-whistled. Haha. Wolf-whistles for my Wolfy.

Smiling and waving, we made our way through the crowd and up the boy's staircase. Once through the dorm room door, I pulled my new boyfriend into a lingering hug.

"What would I do without you?" I whispered into his neck

"Oh, I don't know. Die of loneliness?" I could detect his use of humorous sarcasm. Oh come on, I'm not _that_ thick. Geez. You people are so mean sometimes. You're probably only reading this 'cause you're bored, so bite me.

"Of course, Moony. I couldn't live without you." he gave a soft chuckle and lifted my chin to look me in the eye.

"Me neither, Padders." And with that, he pushed his oh-so-soft lips down onto mine. I was electrified. A thousand volts rushing through my body. And when he started to run his fingers through my hair, my mind turned to mush.

We came up for air, and he lay his head on my shoulder. I could have died right then and my life would have been complete.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

I sensed that Moony and Padfoot wanted some alone time today, so I took Peter to Hogsmede for the day. He seemed to be brooding over something.

We walked past streets of overcrowded shops in silence. Once at the Three Broomsticks, I bought us two butterbeers (never forgetting to wink at the curvy barman's daughter, Rosemerta,) and asked him what was wrong.

All I got in response was a scowl as he took a swig of butterbeer.

"Hey, I know what'll cheer you up, mate." I said. He grunted, as if to say "Really? That's interesting."

"How about a prank? We could think of a really good one. Just the two of us."

His face fell a millisecond, but then a sinister grin took the frown's place.

"Okay, Prongs, that sounds like an excellent idea."

**Oh nu! What's Peter planning? Stay tuned! And please don't hate me for not updating and the shortness. Having HUGE writers block. Sorrysorry! Thanks for reading. Review…?**


	3. Chapter 3

** Well, here I am again! Finally. I really have a hard time updating. I dunno why. I guess it's just a Rita thing. (Rita's my real nickname if any of you were wondering. That's how I got my username.) Anywho, back to the point: here 'tis! Enjoy. **

"Hey, Remmy?"

"Hmm?"

"Let's help James win over Evans."

"What?! Are you bloody mad?!"

"Moony! I'm serious! Wait, I really am Siri-"

"Don't you DARE pull that stupid pun again!"

"Alright, alright, keep your pants on. Sheesh. What's got your knickers in a twist?"

"Oh, I dunno, could it be that fact that you're trying to get Lily Evans to go out with James?! James, who she detests almost more than her sister?"

"So will you help?"

He thought for a minute.

"Okay."

"I love you."

"I know you do."

"Do you love me?"

"Of cour- Hey! What are you doing with my chocolate?"

"Damn. Thought you wouldn't notice."

"That is only the most expensive chocolate in Hogsmede! You can't have it!"

"But what if I share?"

"No!"

"Pleeeeeease?"

"Oh don't you try those puppy dog eyes. They won't work."

"Fine. Be a meanie."

"I will. Now give me back my chocolate."

"No."

"Padfoot…"

"Moony…"

"Give it."

"Wait, I've got a better idea." I broke off a tiny piece of Moony's _precious_ chocolate, and popped it in my mouth. He looked furious, but before he could say anything, I gave him a very thorough, very chocolaty snog.

"Alright. You can have it if you share. But only with me." He said with reluctance.

"Aw, you're the best, Remmy."

"I know."

"I love you."

"I love you too. Now share!"

"One track mind, you've got." I got a growl and a tackle in response to this. Words were forgotten as I "shared" the rest of his huge bag of chocolate.

* * *

Why, oh, why did I agree to help Sirius in his quest to help James? We both know this is fruitless. Well, at least _I_ know this is fruitless. Sod whatever they think. I'm always right in the end. Oh come on, you know it's true. Don't give me that, it _is_ true! Fine. I don't know why I'm arguing with you anyways. I mean, you're only the reader. I stick my tongue out at you. Yes, I am _very_ mature. Okay, okay, on with the story. 

We started to devise a plan. We decided not to tell James.

"This is the best plan ever, Moony."

"It is indeed, dear Padfoot."

* * *

Severus Snape smiled to himself as he saw his newest prey come into view. He signaled the others and set off in an inconspicuous pace behind the lonely marauder. Lucius and Narcissa soon-to-be Malfoy came up behind him. He glanced at his comrades with a telltale sneer. They smirked back at him. 

"Where is Bellatrix tonight, Narcissa?" he asked in his usual oily manor.

"Detention. She was caught hexing that blood-traitor Hufflepuff."

"A just cause, in my opinion." Commented Lucius.

"Quite." Agreed Severus.

They hushed their conversation as they approached the perplexed victim, who appeared to be lost and all alone.

"Hello, Pettigrew." Severus said as warmly as ice laced with anthrax.

"W-what do you want. Snape?"

"We just wanted to chat, Pettigrew. Get to know you. we've never gotten a chance to talk to you without the rest of "the marauders" being there. You're different from your friends, you know. Better than them. "

"Well, uh, I dunno about that…"

"Of _course_ you're better than them. Can't you see it?" chimed in Narcissa.

"I've never thought about it before." Came Peter's apologetic reply.

"We're having a little party later, Pettigrew. We'd be honored if you decided to attend. It's just a small gathering. Nothing too fancy." Said Lucius.

"Uh, well, sure. Okay. When and where should I meet you?" Severus's lips curled into what appeared to be a smile. It was _so_ easy. He knew Peter would jump at a chance of a party. Even if it was among enemies.

"Oh, we'll find you." He smirked.

Then all three Slytherins turned their backs and walked swiftly away. Their black robes billowing out behind them.

…And Peter was left feeling more confused than ever.

**yes, that's it. I'm sorry! I know, it's short, I must update soon and all that jazz. BUT I won't be able to for another three weeks. //.T going to camp. Sorrysorrysorry! **

**Please, please, PLEASE review and I'll shower you with sugary items of goodness! Thanks!**

**-Rita**


	4. Chapter 4

**YES! I'm back. I know, it took forever, so I'll skip the rest. Here 'tis:**

**(Oh, and this one is going to be told by narration, not from the character's point of view)**

James was walking down the corridors of Hogwarts with a bounce in his step. Whistling a jaunty tune as he walked, his mind wondered to it's favorite subject; Lily Evans. Sure, she "hated his guts" as she frequently put it, but his advances never ceased. (Much to her displeasure,) The object of his affections, he thought, was just playing hard to get.

Fortunately for James, his object of affections was, at that current moment, trying feverishly to change the subject of her brain waves. Lily Evans had been thinking about James for quite a while now, and had no idea what to make of it. Smart Gryffindors like Lily were NOT supposed to be attracted to pompous quiddich gits, like James Potter. Smart Gryffindors were NOT supposed to get butterflies in their stomachs when said git ran a hand through extremely messy hair, or try to cover up a swoon whenever the marauders were seen running down a corridor away from screams and the smell of noxious gasses. No, they were NOT supposed to fall for James Potter, the boy who mockingly asked Lily Evans to Hogsmede at least once a week. Every time he did so, Lily felt colder than ice. How could he pretend to want her and then laugh along with his friends about it later? In Lily's eyes, there was only one thing to call someone like that, an insufferable toerag.

"Alright, Moony, to business."

Several days since the decided plan to help James win his woman, Sirius and Remus were in a deserted section of the library trying to put the finishing touches on the master of all marauders' plans, _Objective: Get Prongs and Evans Together_.

"Now, Padfoot, remember, James is scheduled to be out of detention at 8:30. Knowing him, he should take a thirty minute detour to the kitchens. After which, he will head straight for Gryffindor tower.

"Lily should be coming back from her study session at about the same time. Padfoot, you got James. I'll take care of Lily"

"Righto, Moony."

"I just hope everything goes according to plan." Remus said, closing his eyes and massaging his temples.

"I'm sure it will be fine, Remus." Sirius said, kissing his boyfriend's forehead.

The next morning, Sirius awoke to the fluttering feeling of butterflies in his stomach. This was the same feeling he always got when the marauders were about to pull a fairly complex prank. As a result of his excitement, he sprang from his bed and bounded over to the closed curtains of one Remus Lupin. Throwing them wide and gazing down at the sleeping boy, he proclaimed loudly, "REEEEEEMUUUUUUS! Wake UUUUUUUP!" The smaller boy groaned and rolled over, trying to shut out the offending sound. "Come on, Remmy, guess what day it is today?"

"I don' care what bloody day it is today. Lemme sleep!" Remus said, his voice muffled from the comforter and slurred from sleep. At this, Sirius hopped from the floor onto Remus's bed, squashing him in the process. Still sitting on him, Sirius replied, "Remus! How could you forget. Today's our anniversary!"

"It's been one bleeding week!" came the winded reply.

"Exactly! Our one week anniversary! I can't believe you'd forgotten. Even after I bought you that early anniversary present." Sirius sounded mock-hurt.

"Oh, just get off me, I'm awake now, you happy?" and with that, Sirius moved off the grumpy adolescent, and lay down next to him.

"Yes, now I am happy. Now hurry up and get dressed so we can go down to breakfast."

"Prongs," came the irritated and amused reply, "You're not dressed either." Sirius looked down.

"Merlin, you're right! Well, that changes things. I'll have to get dressed as well." He leaped off the bed and ran to the next bed over, where a messy pile of clothes was on the floor. Selecting a few garments, he turned back to face Remus. "Good morning, by the way." He winked, and went to the bathroom to brush his teeth.

Remus cursed his over-enthusiastic friend, and got out of bed. It was going to be a big day today. He had a quiz for Ancient Runes and a half-completed essay for Professor Bins on the beginning of house elf enslavement, and which families contributed to the act. He would have to finish it at lunch. Remus sighed. And the first phase of the mission was set to happen today. (He knew that's what had Sirius so excited that he had to wake him up.)

Sirius had calmed down quite a bit since, and was now trying to perfect his hair before going down to breakfast. Remus, for once having no patience, grabbed his hand and hauled him out of the door and down the dormitory stairs.

"Hey! Moony! I have to fix my hair!" Sirius shouted as he was being dragged down the stairs.

"No you don't, Padfoot. It looks fine, and I'm hungry."

"Oh, I get it. You're still grumpy because I woke you up. But that is no reason to take it out on my hair! Aw, now it will _never_ be strait." He pouted, trying to look as cute as a seventeen year old boy could. Remus's face softened, and he laughed, pulling his boyfriend into a lingering kiss.

"Now let's get breakfast, m'kay?"

"Fine." Said Sirius, still trying to pout as furiously as he could, but still smiling.

** i'm SO terribly sorry it took me so long to update. i promise the next one will be quicker. for all the people who reviewed last time, i just baked a bunch of cookies for you all! (no really, i did. 'specially for YOU. ) for those who review this time, i will bake a cake. luffs muchly! -Rita**


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N : Hello, my lovlies. I know, it took me FOREVER, but I just started out at boarding school. I have NO TIME whatsoever. I promise the next one will come quicker, and don't hate the shortness and awfulness of this one. I'm trying, but I can't write prose. Never could. Anywho, enjoy.**

After breakfast, the two separated to go to their separate classes. Peter went with Sirius to _Potions for Dummies_, and James went with Remus to _Care of Magical Creatures._ After their morning classes, the two met up at lunch to go over their plans again in the Library.

"Are you sure this is going to work?"

"Yes. Lily just needs convincing."

"I hope you're right."

James was irritated. Just as he was munching on a particularly delicious éclair from the kitchens, a big burlap bag fell over his head, causing him to crash to the ground, and the éclair to squash against his shirt. After choosing a few choice swear words, and proclaiming them loudly, he discovered that the ground beneath the burlap bag was moving by in a very alarming rate. He opened his mouth to yell, but just then, he felt a silencing spell stop his vocal chords.

_Something is rotten at Hogwarts. _ He thought. _And when I get out of this sack, the people who did this will face a force to be reckoned with._

After a minute or too, the dragging ceased, and the silencing spell was lifted. James tried his best to kick out at the offending persons, but there was no one around him. (As he soon realized when he took off the bag and found himself in a room devoid of humans.) "Well," he commented, "this sucks."

Lily was oblivious. Daydreaming about James, again, she didn't even notice Remus sneak up behind her. "Hey, Lily." He said. She jumped and put a hand over her fluttering heart.

"Remus, God, you scared me."

"Sorry, Lily. Didn't mean to." He flashed a charming smile. "So… you looked off in your own world there for a minute. Whacha thinking about?"

Her eyes became glassy and unfocused. She sighed.

"James…" her eyes widened in shock. "I-I mean, uh, I was just thinking about what a horrible git he is and how I still can't believe you're friends with him." She said too quickly, giving him a stern glance.

"It's alright. I know all about James. And, as much as it will pain you to hear this, I think you should give him a chance."

She stared at him for a few seconds, and then burst out laughing.

"Good-haha-one-ha-Remus! You're always good for a-hahahaha-laugh!" shaking her head and laughing, she walked away.

Remus's silent eyes cracked into a smile. He swiftly turned around and walked hastened to Gryffindor tower, where Sirius was waiting to hear the news.

"Well?"

"Phase 1 complete."

"Exelent."

**A/N: It will all make sense later….**


	6. Chapter 6

**So, here I am, with one of my roommates sleeping, drinking a milkshake, right after my first class of the day, trying to finish a chapter that has been nagging my mind for a looong time. I'm going through incredibly bad writer's block. But I've caught the plot bunny, and I will continue on!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters, places, animals, emotions, things in this. I only own the plot.**

James was peeved. He was soaking wet, and very cold. Three second years tried to out-prank him in a three-on-one prank war. The only thing that made him feel better was that the thirteen year olds looked worse than he did at the moment.

James stepped into the warm common room, just missing Lily's quick glance and blush, and drudged up the stairs to his dorm. Remus looked up from his book just in time to see her bury her face into her arms on the table. He smiled, deciding to take this situation to the "plan's" advantage.

_Time to begin phase 2._

He thought with a smirk.

"Lily, may I ask you for a favor?" She looked up and blinked.

"Uh, sure, Remus. What is it?"

"Well, as you know, exams are only getting closer and closer, and I find that I need more time for studying than I used to. The thing is, that I promised James I'd help him with his transfiguration homework every Tuesday night. But I simply don't have time to do so with all the extra work I'm trying to get done. So, I was wondering, that since you're the best in the transfiguration class, that you might take over a few study sessions until I get my work back under control." He phrased his words carefully, using slight flattery, and hoping that she'd bite the bait.

She thought for a minute, "Okay, Remus. I'll help you out. But only for a couple of weeks, alright?"

"Thank you, Lily. You have no idea how much this will help."

_And just how much you've gotten yourself into_, he thought with a smile.

_Wait until I tell Sirius._

Sirius was having a tough time convincing James he needed help with his homework. Especially a soaking wet, angry James.

"James, you're getting worse grades than _Wormtail_ for pete's sake!"

"I will NOT get a tutor! Besides, all the smart people have better things to do!"

"Oh, come on, James, grow up. Remus I'm sure would be glad to help you. Just bloody _ask _him!"

Just at that moment, Remus entered the dormitory. "What would I be glad to do?" he asked, walking over to Sirius and putting an arm around his shoulders.

"Help James with his homework." Sirius said.

"Oh, well, normally I'd love to help, James, but I've just got so much work to do-"

"Well, that's just bloody fantastic." James interrupted with a scowl.

"-however, I can find you a replacement. I've talked to Lily about it and she said she-"

"You talked to WHO?" James shouted, suddenly forgetting that he was angry. "Lily? Lily _Evans_? My Lily?"

"Yes, James, Lily Evans. She said she'd be glad to help you every Tuesday night in the Library for the next couple of weeks." Remus said, answering James' loud questions, and Sirius' silent one.

"See, told you you'd find someone to help." Sirius said smugly.

James was still freaking out, "What are we going to talk about? What am I going to wear? What am I going to say? Why am I asking questions like a girl before her first date?!"

Sirius laughed. "Come on, Prongsie-boy. It'll be fine. Remus and I will help you figure all that out later."

And with that they dried James off and all went down to dinner.

_I can do so much better. He could smile at ME like that. I could have him. I could get rid of the other one. All of them. He's the only one who matters. He's MINE._

A blonde pudgy head disappeared around the corridor leading to the dungeons, dangerous thoughts swarming his brain, plans swimming in and out of focus.

Finally it clicked.

He would break down the barriers separating them one by one.

_Subtly._ He thought. _He will be mine._

**There we go? I know, so short, I can't help it! WRITER'S BLOCK! Bleh. Next one will be even quicker, I promisepromisepromise. Oh, and a cyber-milkshake for all who review. **

**Thank you for everyone who did. The last one was the one that motivated me to FINALLY get this one out. **

** 3**

**-Rita**


	7. Chapter 7

Peter was watching the two sitting by the lake, Sirius had his arms around Remus, and was watching the sunset with spacey eyes

**Hiya! I'm back. Sorta. I'm sorry! I know, I say that every chapter, but I promised I'd get this one out by this week. (The internet was down, so it took me a little longer than normal.) But here it is. Enjoy!**

Peter was watching the two sitting by the lake, Sirius had his arms around Remus, and was watching the sunset with spacey eyes.

Peter was disgusted. How could Remus sit there and look at Sirius? _Those two are too close for their own good. _ He decided.

It was the night of the party. He promised he'd meet them in the entrance way of the great hall after curfew, and they'd make their way down to the dungeon.

At 11 o'clock, Peter had James' invisibility cloak over him and was running as quietly as he could to the hall. When he reached the great doors, he stopped to catch his breath, drawing the cloak from his stubby body.

They were there. In hooded black robes, they stood in the shadows, emerging when they heard the panting of the rat.

Lucius smiled. His white teeth gleemed in the darkness, and as he moved closer to Peter's glowing wand, his hair shone like moonlight.

"So glad you could join us, Peter." His voice flowed like silk sheets hiding a dagger. His eyes showed malice in the minimal light of the night. "We were almost worried you wouldn't show up." A flash of white teeth, but the smile was short lived. "Come. We have much to do."

They all whirled towards the dungeon, their robes flying out behind them in a black cloud.

All Peter could do was stumble along behind them, his eyes full of fear of what he already knew was to come.

)()()()()()()()()()()()(

Later that night he woke James from a deep slumber and whispered in his friend's ear. "Hey, James? Remember when you told me that we'd plan a prank, just the two of us? Well, I've got an idea."

"Excellent, let's hear it then."

Peter smiled. It was all too easy.

)()()()()()()()()()()()()(

Down in the common room, Sirius was napping while Remus finished his homework. When he was finished, he turned towards the raven-haired boy. "Alright mister, time for phase three of the fantastical plan."

"Aw, do we have to?" came the sleepy reply. Remus smiled. Sirius was so cute when he got pout-y.

"Yes, come on, silly. Up and at 'em." He tugged one lifeless arm, and received a groan in response. Smiling evilly now, he closed his eyes and leaned over his boyfriend. His lips parted, appearing as if he were about to kiss him. Sirius closed his own eyes and started leaning forward, but found that Remus was leaning back, drawing Sirius into a sitting position.

Sirius opened his eyes, saw Remus' smirk, and pouted.

"That wasn't fair, Moony."

Remus just grinned. This was just too much fun.

"Who ever said I was fair? Now come on. Prongs needs our help now more than ever." They stood up to go look for their friend. When they found James, he was pacing their bedroom and muttering to himself on how he was to act during his first "study date".

"Now this is just pitiful, Prongs. Everything will be fine as long as you focus on your studies and NOT on Lily. You understand?" Sirius gave his friend a serious stare, and watched his walls crumble down one by one. James stopped pacing, and sat on his bed with his head in his hands.

"I just want this to be perfect." He said quietly to himself. "I've been trying so hard, I can't mess this up."

"Mate, it's not a date. It's a tutor. She's helping you with **homework**. Get a grip and be ready to learn. Don't say anything about how beautiful she is or how much you like her and would-she-please-go-on-a-real-date-with-you. Just… act how you do when I try and teach you stuff." Remus shrugged. This really was the best advice he could give. He'd never had a boyfriend (or girlfriend for that matter, but he thought girls were icky anyways) before Sirius.

_And I couldn't ask for a better one._ He thought as he beamed at Sirius, who was caught off guard, but then returned his smile with a cheeky grin of his own.

James rolled his eyes, but said nothing. He knew he couldn't ruin the moment even if he tried. He glanced at the clock.

"Oh gods, guys, I'm late. Gotta run, bye!"

He raced out of the dorm as fast as if he were on his broom during the last quidditch match of the season.

Sirius looked at the clock and laughed.

"He's five minutes early."

Remus chuckled. "Job well done, I'd say. Phase 3 going as planned."

"Indeed." His ebony haired counterpart said. "Care to see how it turns out?" He put his arm around Remus' shoulders and steered him towards James' trunk, where the corner of an invisibility cloak stuck out at the edge.

"I say we give them a half an hour. Then we go check on them." Remus said with a sly smile.

"Aw, but Moony! I'm so bored! What are we going to do for a full half an hour? Not homework, surely." Sirius begged.

Remus' smile grew as he walked over to Sirius' bed and sat down, patting the spot next to him. Sirius' eyes widened, and then he returned his boyfriend's sly smile with a lustful one. Sauntering over and flopping down next to him, he slowly leaned forward until his lips touched Remus'. He kept leaning until Remus' back was pressed onto the bedspread, and their lips were locked in a battle of dominance. When they broke for air, Sirius moved to the hazel eyed boy's jaw line, then planting kisses up and down his neck and collar bone. Remus moaned and clutched at black locks. Sirius moved back up to join their lips again as he slowly ground his hips into the other boy's, making Remus gasp, and move his hands to his boyfriend's back. Sirius's hands started making their way down Remus' chest as he unbuttoned each button on his shirt, until it was lying open and Sirius could see the scars that raced across the pale skin. He paused and stared at the newly exposed flesh. Remus looked away and squirmed under him.

"You're beautiful, Moony." Remus tried to see the lie in his face. It wasn't there.

"I'm not."

"Yes you are. You're beautiful, and you're mine. Never doubt that." Determination shone bright out of Sirius' face. "And I'm going to prove it to you."

He crashed his lips back onto the werewolf's, making him see that he was worth it, that he was there, and most of all, that he was _his_.

Remus smiled against Padfoot's lips, and moved his own lithe fingers to the tie and buttons of Sirius' own shirt.

In one move, he had them flipped, and the tie was in his hand. He threw it to the floor and began to slowly undo the buttons, kissing and slightly nipping each new area of skin that was exposed. Sirius growled impatiently, and as soon as the buttons were undone he removed the rest of both his, and Remus' shirts.

Remus smiled and ran his hands over the taut chest, reaching his stomach, he wrapped his arms around Sirius and leaned up to kiss him again. After about five minutes, Remus stopped and laid his head on Sirius' chest, listening to his steady heartbeat. Sirius pet the dusty brown hair that lay before him. They lay there for another five minutes, until Remus glanced at the clock.

"Oh bugger, Sirius, we have to go check on James. What if he's in the hospital wing for some hex Lily did or some spell, or, or-"

"Remus, He's going to be fine. We'll go check on him right now."

They rose and adorned themselves with their proper garments, then the invisibility cloak, which had been resting on the floor. Then they crept out of the dorm into the common room toward the library, not knowing what they might find upon entering it.

**Sooooo? A little longer than the last one. Not by much, but I'm working my way up to longer chapters. (It's gonna take me a while.) I can never understand those people who just turn 'em out like, every week and whatnot.**

**Anywho, if you liked it, review it. If you hated it, review it with hate mail. If you don't care at all, review with statements of apathy. **

**It all helps me get the next one out even faster. (And I'm sooooooo slow! Gah!)**

**Well, I've taken up enough of your valuable time today. Thanks for reading! Even if you don't review or care or anything. I appreciate that people take the time to see my work out there.**

**Hugs! **

**-Rita**


	8. Chapter 8

**so, here i am.**

**thank you to my readers.**

**you're the reason i'm going to be up all night writing this story and eating doritos. (which are delicious, but i don't usually eat chips and crap like that and whatnot. .)**

**i really appreciate that you stay with me even though i never update and i can't give the pairing justice.**

**THANKS GUYS!**

**:)**

**on with the show**

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It was extremely cramped under the cloak. Muffled curses when one stepped on the other's toe, or when they knocked heads were heard by those confused few who wandered the Hogwarts halls that evening. Neither boy minded however, due to their close affiliation.

Once at the library, the two scanned the tables to search for James and Lily. They conversed in whispers as to what direction to head in, until they spotted their friend and his tutor in a small corner by a window overlooking the lake and the night sky. Their heads were bent over books, and Lily was looking down satisfactorily at James as he scribbled away on a piece of parchment. Upon closer examination, they found that James had no bruises, hand prints, or any other indications that he'd been hit or hexed by Lily. He did not look nervous anymore either.

Remus and Sirius were shocked. Absolutely shocked. It seemed that their plan was working even better than anticipated, and they would therefore not have to use plan B, or as Sirius called it: Plan-Lock-James-and-Evans-in-a-Closet-Until-They-Stop-Being-Such-Wankers-and-Realize-Their-Affections-For-One-Another (Although-We-Do-Realize-That-This-Could-Take-Days). Viewing their harmony, Remus and Sirius shared a smile, and tread silently out of the Library, where they slid off the cloak and started the trek back to the common room.

"Sirius," said Remus "do you think that they need our help anymore?" Sirius looked thoughtful for a moment.

"No, Remus. I don't think they do." He smiled and placed a kiss at his boyfriend's temple, before lacing their fingers together, and swinging their hands back and forth.

"Hey, you know what I was thinking?" Sirius started before his stomach interrupted his speech with a growl.

Remus laughed. "Okay, we can go to the kitchens."

"Aw, you're the best, Remmy!"

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The meeting was tonight. They'd told him so. He wandered the corridors, glancing fearfully about his person. The last one hadn't been fun at all. They'd lied to him. But they'd also promised him...

_**flashback**_

_"What do you desire, Pettigrew? What is it that you wish for?" The voice itself had slithered along the cold stone before reaching unwilling ears of the rat. He shivered in the green light. It was so cold down here. Why were they not cold? A bead of sweat slid slowly down his forehead before falling to the floor. Or rather, splintered, for it seemed that the drop had frozen before reaching the stone. He could hear the voice smirking at his fear._

_"Where is your bravery, Gryffindor? Where are your 'friends' now? My cousin. How is he? Did that scum ever include you in their foolish escapades?" A new voice. A different one. While the other was silk and slime, this one was high pitched and irritating. The authority in it's wavering notes struck a chord of fear in his heart. But at the mention of Sirius, however, a spark of anger flared._

_"What is it that you desire?"_

_"Remus." Said Peter. And then he lifted his eyes to see the voices directed at him._

_The faces were vaguely surprised, but guarded. _

_Bellatrix Black spoke. "What will you do to have him?" She asked. The shrill voice rang about the cavern._

_"Anything." Said Peter. "I would kill for him."_

_"Good." Said Lucius. "Because that's exactly what we need from you." A sly smile had appeared on his face. The rat was scared. Kill? He would kill?_

_Yes. He would._

_For Remus._

_"Trust us, Pettigrew. You help us, and you will have Remus." Whether he would have Remus alive, they didn't say._

_**flashback**_

He didn't want to go back. He didn't know how this was happening. That cold room with all those people just staring at him. He knew that this time they were going to help him, though. This time, they were going to draw up a plan that they've been talking about since he confessed his love for Remus.

and James.

James was going to help.

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"Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaah. Sirius, I'm so full." Remus complained loudly. "Remind me never to take you down there ever again."

"Aw, you know you loved it." An equally stuffed Sirius told his whiny counterpart. Remus gave a feeble "ehhh" in return and flopped on one of the couches in the common room much like a drama queen would faint onto a lounge chair. Sirius grinned and settled himself in an armchair next to the couch. They both sat in silence, Sirius stroking Remus' hair softly, waiting for the moment when James would walk in and tell them all about his tutoring session.

In about ten minutes, James and Lily came strolling in through the portrait hole. They walked straight past the two marauders, who had sat bolt upright as the two came into the room. James walked Lily to the girl's staircase, and handed her her bookbag, which he had been carrying. He missed the faint blush as she said goodnight, and fled up the staircase.

Only then, did James turn and walk towards his friends, who had been tracking him with their eyes.

"Well?!" SIrius exclaimed.

"Well what?" James said, sitting down on the couch.

"Oh, you know perfectly well what, Prongs." Remus chimed in. Both were still staring with awed expressions.

"Well, we studied. She caught me up on everything I was having trouble with. We've arranged to meet same time next week. Remus, you were right. Sirius, I'm never listening to your advice on women again. Now, if you two don't mind, I'd like to get some sleep. I'm rather tired." He got up to go.

"You know she fancies, you, right mate?" Sirius' tone was casual.

James' was not. "WHAT?!"

"Yep. He's right." said Remus. "She's completely smitten." His expression was smug.

James started jumping in circles and punching the air with his fist. "YES! I am the BEST!"

"Don't get carried away, Prongs." Sirius laughed as the stag hit his shin on a coffee table and fell to the floor with a loud "OW!"

"Some things never change, right Moony?"

"No, Padfoot. They don't."

"Hey, you guys don't know where Peter is, do you?" James said from the floor.

"No, why?" Sirius' voice was unconcerned.

"Nothing. I just have some plans with him." Said James only slightly faster than normal.

Only Remus caught this, but he let it go. It was getting late, and the full moon would be coming soon. He yawned.

"Come on, mister. Time for bed." Sirius got up and lifted Remus off of the couch before setting him down again.

"Alright. Goodnight, James."

"G'night guys!"

The two boys slumped up to their dormitory, where they fell asleep as soon as their shoes were off and they were in their beds.

Downstairs, James awaited the midnight arrival of the rat.

They had a prank to plan.

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TO CLEAR SOMETHING UP:

james doesn't think peter's up to something. he has no idea of his ill intentions, nor does he have any of his own.

i**'m really sorry this one was just kind of a pot-filler. no fluffy goodness, really. my fault. if you'd like a kitchen scene, or whatever, tell me and i'll put one in later. i really just wanted to get this one out.**

**please review!!**

**or not.**

**whichever suits your fancy. (although reviewing would suit mine.)**

**g'night!**

**333**

**-rita**


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N: Hello lovelies! I'm back! Yaaaay! I'm proud to announce I finished this chapter (the longest one so far. Go me!) and have the next one coming up really really quickly! (for once. I know, I'm really really really bad at this, but I'm getting better I promise!)**

**WARNING!!!!!: the rating has changed. There is a lemon in this chapter. You can skip it if you want. I'll warn you when it's coming. **

**ALSO: the story will turn very angsty in the next chapter. If you want to stay un-emo, you might wanna find a happy story. This will not be one. (I can't write happy. I tried, and I can't do it. XP) **

Peter entered the common room in a hurry and smiled at his friend. "James! Great, let's get started."

"Pete. Man, I thought you'd never get here." James laughed and Peter plopped himself on the other side of the couch James had occupied.

"So, about the prank, here's what I was thinking (and this is just a rough idea, mind you). What if we drugged Sirius and then set up a situation that when he woke up, he'd think he'd slept with Snape! Imagine the look on his face, mate, if he found out he'd gotten down and dirty with one of the scum of the school. It'd be hilarious!"

"No." It was a statement. No arguments. "We couldn't do that to him, mate. He's like a brother to me."

Peter hastily backtracked, "No, no, we'd tell him afterwards, of course. No way in hell I'd let my best friend sleep with that slimy git. Just for laughs, you know?" He tried not to say please. James grinned. "Alright, so no Snape. Who was Padfoot's last girlfriend?" asked Peter lazily.

"I think that would be Janet." James rolled his eyes. Janet had been actively stalking Sirius for the past month, unable to accept that he had dumped her.

"So what if we told her he was still interested and then let her annoy him for the next couple of weeks? He'd never know it was us." Peter winked.

"Yeah, I guess it would be pretty funny, wouldn't it? Alright Wormtail, how do we set this glorious plan of yours in action?" Peter smiled widely.

"Alright," he said, "Here's how it goes down."

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Classes dragged on every day. And every day, the end of the school year was coming closer. The marauders did not focus or pay any attention to this fact, preferring to live in the moment rather than dwell upon the end of their time as students. Peter was being oddly silent and vanished every other night, only to appear in bed the next morning when the marauders woke up. They avoided the subject because every time they brought it up, he broke into a cold sweat and grew silent. They did not interrogate their rodent friend, simply because they believed that he had finally grown a pair and gotten a girlfriend. They figured that if they asked him outright, he would start stuttering and acting uncomfortable around them, the poor bugger.

However, Remus and Sirius were getting more and more comfortable each day. They held hands, walked each other to classes, and carried each others' books. They were almost acting girlish in some ways. Giving kisses on cheeks when they parted for ten minutes, or sending flying love notes across the classroom (the notes were mainly to irritate Professor McGonagall, or Miss Minnie, as Sirius called her).

If James hadn't been so obliviously in love with Lily, he might have gotten annoyed by their rediculous behavior. His study "dates" had gone well, and Lily had agreed to accompany him on a real date to Hogsmede the next week. He had been practically jumping off the walls for a half an hour when she said yes.

The boys were currently on their way to potions (a class they shared with the Slytherins, much to their dismay). Remus and Sirius were walking side by side, while James was walking in front of them, backwards, and telling them about the gorgeous color of Lily's hair. Peter was missing again.

"But did you SEE the way it glinted in the light when she turned to answer that question in transfiguration? It was like, the colors of a glass of red, red wine and fire!"

They stepped into the classroom and took their usual seats at the back. They didn't forget to sneer at Snape as they passed by his table at the front.

Plopping down into the seat next to Remus, Sirius planted his hand on Remus' thigh and then looked at the board where instructions were written. Remus, fairly affronted with the physical contact so early in the lesson, stammered "Er, I'll just go get the ingredients then," and crept out from under Sirius' hand, nearly running to the cupboard. He missed Sirus' amused expression as his boyfriend's mind began to form ideas on just how he could torture Remus in class.

Professor Slughorn had already fallen asleep at his front desk after exclaiming that he expected a vial of whatever they had produced at the end of the lesson, and the rest of the students had gotten together with their partners and focused on the task at hand. Remus returned with all the ingredients and began to vigorously chop some sort of slimy root. Sirius clicked his tongue, leaned over Remus' shoulder and softly grabbed the hand with the knife. Breathing into the brown haired boy's ear, he said, "We don't want to murder the thing, do we? Here," he formed his own hand over the one holding the knife and started to slice the root into thin slivers that could rival Lily Evans'. Remus' face was impossibly red as he stared at the table and tried not to focus on the feel of Sirius' chest on his back and arm over his own.

"Y-yo-you can do it if you really want, Sirius." He stammered and tried to move away from the heat at his back.

Sirius chuckled. "But what would be the fun in that?" he said as he released the terrified boy and sat down in his own chair, which he had scooted over until it was touching Remus'. "I think watching you is much more fun" he grinned and propped his head on one hand to stare at his boyfriend. The other hand had begun to trace small circles on Remus' thigh. Remus huffed and turned back to the board to look at the next step. Sirius decided to play along and added the correct measure of the root to the cauldron as Remus prepared the next ingredient. The hand on the lycanthrope's leg began to inch unnoticeably higher. It took about 3 full minutes before Remus dropped it down to his knee and gave Sirius a stern look. However, the raven-haired boy wasn't paying attention. He seemed so intent on the instructions to their potion on the board in front of them to be bothered with a very flustered teen beside him. Remus tried to concentrate. He really did, Sirius' hand was moving _just so_ on his leg and he couldn't possibly read the board when Sirius was staring at him like _that_. Remus prayed that class would be over soon. He needed to get out of there. Sirius spotted Remus' red face and grinned. He leaned over Remus' shoulder to look in the cauldron.

"It looks almost ready." He breathed onto Remus' neck. Remus shivered and continued stirring.

_Three more stirs until it's ready. One… Two… Three. Okay_.

Remus stood up, glad that his robes were baggy as to hide his growing "problem", and filled a vial with the perfect smoky liquid. He marched to the front of the class, put the vial on the desk, marched back to his seat, grabbed his bag and a smirking Sirius by the tie and pulled him out of the classroom.

**(A/N: for all you non-lemon people, skip to the next )()()()()()( thingies )**

"I can't fucking believe you. Why would you ever do that? You're in big trouble mister. Deep shit. You're going to get it so bad…" Remus muttered his stream of curses all along the corridor until they reached an empty classroom. He shoved Sirius inside and slammed the door, looking at him with predatory eyes and breathing heavily. Sirius tensed, waiting for him to pounce. When he didn't, Sirius started slowly walking towards him. Remus glowered and started walking backwards until he hit the door. Sirius smirked and wrapped his arms around Remus' neck, pressing his body close to his boyfriend's and noticing for the first time that afternoon that "little Remus" had come out to play. He leaned forward, inhaling the scent that was so perfectly Remus, before touching their lips together in what he had assumed would be a chaste kiss. Remus, however, had other plans. As soon as their lips touched Remus felt as if on fire. He grabbed Sirius' hips and pulled him even closer, his tongue licked his boyfriend's lips for entrance. Sirius obliged and let out a small moan as Remus' hips bucked into his own. Remus began walking them forwards, his mouth still glued to Sirius', their tongues battling for dominance. Sirius' legs hit the end of a chair and he slowly sat, pulling Remus down until he was straddling the animagus' lap. When they broke for air, Remus grinned and started undoing Sirius' tie. Sirius' eyes widened and then narrowed into his trademark smirk as he reached for Remus' belt. Ever so slowly he began undoing the werewolf's trousers. Remus glanced down and growled, attaching himself to the newly exposed skin of Sirius' neck and continuing to work the buttons on the black haired boy's shirt. Once he had finished, he ran his hands down the smooth expanse of skin before him. Sirius, noticing that he was much more unclothed than Remus, began to fix the problem and discarded Remus' shirt and tie onto the table next to him. He pulled the brunette's head back from his neck and chest and kissed him deeply. He then began the work he had started on Remus' pants, undoing the zipper with agonizing slowness.

"Fuck, Sirius, come on." Remus growled with impatience. Sirius chuckled and motioned for Remus to stand up and remove his trousers. He then took off his own pants and shirt, leaving both of them in only boxers. He walked forwards, brushing his lips against his boyfriend's and guiding him onto the floor. He crawled over Remus on all fours, kissing his scars, his chest, his neck, his hip bone, trailing kisses over every expanse of skin he could reach. His lips found a nipple and he bit down slightly on the bud, causing Remus to gasp. Remus himself gripped Sirius' shoulder blades and bit his lip to stifle a groan.

"Padfoot." He breathed "Stop teasing." Sirius chuckled and slid his hand downwards. He stopped and played with the edge of Remus' boxers before pulling them down to reveal a _very_ happy "little Remus". Sirius' eyes widened. Remus was huge. _I guess being a werewolf has it's perks_, he thought as he stared. Sure, he had seen Remus naked before in the dorm, but this was completely different. Remus squirmed on the floor.

"I'm going to lose the moment if you don't start soon." Remus' usually patient face glared back at his boyfriend's. Sirius understood. He'd teased him long enough. He smiled at the werewolf, before curling his hand around Remus' shaft. Remus moaned and panted as Sirius began pumping him.

"Don't stop." He breathed, his nails scratching into the stone floor.

"Just thought you'd like to know," Sirius purred at Remus, "you're fucking huge, by the way."

Remus laughed huskily. "Thanks. I guess." Sirius gazed into Remus' eyes. His eyes clouded over with lust.

"I want you to fuck me." Remus' eyes widened in surprise.

"What?!"

"I want you to fuck me. Now." Sirius never broke eye contact. His hand stopped moving and Remus whined at the loss of friction. His sex-crazed mind struggled to think in his own lust-induced state.

"Come here." He said. Sirius obliged. He stood up and offered his hand to Remus, pulling him close and kissing him deeply. Their bodies were pressed flush against each other, the thin material of Sirius' boxers was the only thing separating him from Remus. When they broke apart, Remus smiled and spun Sirius around, tugging his boxers down as he did so. He leaned him over the desk and pressed his chest into Sirius' back. He took two fingers and waved them in front of Sirius' face.

"Put these in your mouth." He said. Sirius complied. Remus shuddered at the feeling of Sirius' tongue doing magical things to his fingers. _Imagine what a blowjob with that amazing mouth would feel like_, He thought.

When he felt that his fingers were sufficiently wet he pulled them out of his boyfriend's mouth and positioned them at his entrance. Sirius gasped at the feeling of a finger inside him. Remus waited until he had adjusted to the feeling before inserting the other one. He began scissoring him, and when he was wide enough, he removed his fingers and positioned himself at Sirius' entrance.

"Ready?" He asked Sirius.

"Yeah. Do it." Came the tense reply.

Without another warning Remus slammed himself into the tight opening, drawing a cry from the animagus.

"Shit! That hurt!" Sirius hissed. Remus kissed his shoulder apologetically before slowly drawing himself out and slamming back into his lover. Sirius moaned as the pain the previously felt was replaced by pleasure as Remus' hard member hit his sweet spot.

"Oh, Merlin, do that again." He groaned to Remus, who slid back out and slammed in again, setting a rhythm.

"Faster. Come on. Oh God, Remus that feels so good." Remus reached around, grabbing Sirius' weeping cock and stroking him in time with his own thrusts. He moaned Sirius' name and dropped his head into his boyfriend's neck.

"Shit, Sirius. You're so fucking tight. I can't hold on much longer." He panted.

"Me too. Oh God." Sirius moaned. Remus began thrusting faster, still pumping Sirius in time.

"Sirius?"

"Yeah?"

"I love you."

"I love you too. Remus, aaah, I'm gonna, Remus, I'm gonna cum!"

Remus bit down on Sirius' shoulder to stifle a moan as he spilled his seed into his lover, Sirius following a few seconds after. The two boys collapsed onto each other, breathing heavily.

"Remus?"

"Yeah?"

"Let's do that again some time."

Remus laughed. "I have half a mind not to let you sleep tonight." He grinned at the teen. Sirius grinned back.

"I don't think I'll have a problem with that."

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Peter and Severus approached Janet. She was staring into a pocket mirror, trying to fix her hair into a slightly more mussed version of her already messy 'do.

"Hello Janet." Severus voice glided like an oil spill over waves.

"Whaddya want?" She didn't even look away from the mirror.

"Um, it's Sirius." Peter squeaked. Janet looked up, her face brightened.

"What's the problem?" She smiled at them like an airline stewardess smiles at a particularly difficult customer.

"Well, you see, he misses you and your- ahem –assets." Snape sneered. She snapped the mirror closed.

"I always knew he would come back." She sniffed as if already bored with the conversation. "Where could I find him?"

"The library. 10 o'clock tomorrow night." Peter grinned.

"It's a date."

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**A/N: chapter 10 will come out really soon!!!! : ) yay!**

**Thanks for readin'. Hugs to you all!**

**-Rita**


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N: Hello again! Told you I'd update soon. : )**

**Anywho, here is chapter 10. It's terribly angsty, blah blah blah.**

**Enjoy!**

**P.S. sorry the opening paragraph is so crappy. I didn't wanna write it (it was the last part of the chapter I wrote) so I tried to do it as quickly as possible.**

**Hence the crap writing. That's also why the first couple of chapters were so crappy. Hahahaha.**

"Moony! Why are we going to the library?" Whined Sirius, dropping his jacket on a chair next to one of the many study tables. Remus rolled his eyes.

"Because James wanted me to get that book on famous pranks that only prefects are allowed to get. I guess they just don't want it to get in the wrong hands. Oh well!" he grinned evilly. Sirius grinned back.

"Alright, well I'll just wait here then. Hurry back!" He planted a chaste kiss on Remus' lips and pushed him towards the book-shelves.

"Bye!"

Sirius watched as Remus vanished around the corner. From the corner of the room, Janet smiled. He was right on time. She took out her wand and summoned all the buttons from Sirius' shirt to where she was standing. She laughed when she heard his yelp of surprise. She gathered the buttons in her hand and walked out of the shadows.

"Hello, Sirius." She purred, narrowing her eyes in what she hoped was a sexy glance.

"J-Janet! What are you doing here?!" Sirius all but yelled.

"I thought you wanted to see me. After all," She ran her hands down the exposed skin of Sirius' chest. "I've been missing you." She gave him her puppy dog eyes before she leaned her head in and kissed him, undoing the top buttons of her shirt as she did so. Sirius panicked. He grabbed the tops of her arms and tried to push her away. Janet hung on to his shoulders tightly, refusing to let go. From an onlookers point of view it looked as if Sirius was holding her there.

Just then, Remus turned the corner and spied the couple. He dropped his books and his eyes opened wide with surprise. His mouth opened and he let out a soft "oh".

Sirius pushed Janet away much forcefully and she stumbled back onto the table.

"Remus, this isn't what it looks like-" Remus' eyes narrowed with pain, and he began picking up his books, his fingers fumbling along the worn bindings, finding purchase on the undersides of the covers before hurriedly stacking them precariously in his arms. Sirius stuttered in a desperate attempt to explain, his eyes screaming with panic and darting from the bookshelves towards the tables, glancing over Remus as he rushed to gather the books. As soon as he had finished, Remus, staring at the floor, muttered a quick "I'll just go then" before tearing out of the library like it was his family's house and he had just been disowned. His shoulders were hunched and his head was staring furiously at the floor as he speed walked out of the door and turned the corner. Sirius glanced back at a shocked Janet before grabbing his coat and sprinting after Remus.

"Remus! Wait!" Remus ignored him and kept walking, punctuating each step with a muttered insult to his own intelligence.

"Stupid. Stupid. Stupid. Stupid. I can't believe you actually thought- No. You're such an idiot. Stupid. Stupid."

"Remus!" Sirius reached him and grabbed the back of his shirt, forcing him to stop. Remus sighed, stood up straight, and whirled around to face Sirius. His brown eyes boring deep into Sirius' gray ones.

"What?" He hissed, anger quite apparent on his angelic features.

"Remus, please let me explain, I didn't want her to-" Remus cut him off.

"You don't want me." It was a statement. No doubt or question in his voice. Remus' eyes softened into hurt and started to brim over with tears. Sirius let go of his shirt and opened his arms as if to hug the boy, but Remus pushed him away and put on a businesslike voice, as if he was devoid of emotion.

"Sirius, I want to apologize for inflicting myself on you. I know that I can never make it up to you, but I'm sorry. I'm so angry at myself for ever believing-" he swallowed, his shoulders crumpled and his eyes darted towards the walls and floor, Sirius could see he was desperately trying to keep his composure. "Anyway, thank you for being so kind to me all these years. I never deserved any of it. I mean, how could I, a _monster,_" he spat the word like a curse "ever actually be something other than alone? And you- you actually pretended to _love_ me! How did you manage it? Weren't you disgusted every time I looked at you, every time I held your hand, every time I kissed you?" Remus laughed harshly. "I was never supposed to force others to put up with my presence. I'm sorry. God, I'm so sorry, Sirius." He looked at Sirius and tugged one corner of his mouth up in a small apologetic smile before turning his head to the floor and darting away. Sirius stood rooted to the spot, knowing that this time Remus probably wouldn't ever come back to him. The thought of it twisted in his stomach like a knife. He turned his back towards the wall and slid to the floor, holding his head in his hands.

Remus' mind was whirling. Tears were streaming down his face as he walked swiftly down the corridor. _Changes will have to be made_, he thought. _You can no longer intrude on your friends, Remus. It's not fair to them, so you'll have to leave. You can hide in a broom closet tonight and find somewhere else tomorrow. Of course you'll have to sneak into the dorm for your books. Maybe when everyone's at breakfast… Then you can make it to class on time tomorrow morning. And you'll have to avoid certain public places. The great hall, the library, the common room, the dorm, the staircases on occasion… If you take the map you can properly avoid them. Coordinating showers and mealtimes will be problematic, too. _

_And Sirius…_

Remus choked out a harsh sob.

_You must never come in contact with him ever again. _

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Sirius opened the door to the dorm and looked at Remus' bed hopefully. It was empty. Still neat from when Remus had made it that morning. Sirius sighed and walked over to his own messy bed. He kicked off his shoes and crawled under the warm covers. James looked up, his glasses glinting from the light of the bedside lamp, a half-read book in his lap.

"Where's Peter?" Sirius asked.

"He's out." Said James. "What's wrong, mate?"

"I screwed up." Came the somewhat muffled reply from under the covers in the bed next to his. James furrowed his eyebrows.

"You okay?"

"No."

"Will things be okay?"

"No."

"What happened?"

"Janet."

"Shit."

"Yeah."

"What are you gonna do?"

"I dunno."

"Are you gonna try and sort it out?"

"Yes."

"Where's Remus?"

"I dunno."

"Is he coming back?"

Sirius sat up and looked at James. His back hunched and his eyes started welling up with tears.

"Not this time." Sirius broke down. His shoulders shook with silent sobs. James hopped out of bed and sat down next to him, putting a comforting arm around his best friend's shoulders.

"He told me he was sorry. That he'd never meant to _inflict_ himself on me. He called himself a monster, James! A fucking monster!" Sirius managed to say through sobs.

James stayed silent, letting Sirius cry everything all out. When Sirius finally stopped sobbing, James looked down to find him asleep. He chuckled at his friend and put him in bed. Then he made his way back to his own bed, sighed, and turned out the light. He lay awake in bed, his mind churning. _Janet. _It was his fault then. And there was no way to change it back. If he told Sirius it was his doing he would destroy all the trust and friendship they'd ever had. After all, he was all Sirius had now. His family had disowned him and he'd unintentionally scared Remus off with the help of James and Peter. James punched his pillow in to shape and tried to sleep the rest of the early morning away.

**A/N: review? Or not. But I'd really like it if you did. Flames welcome, btw. :D**

**-Rita**


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N: here's the 11****th**** chappie!**

**Aren't you proud of me? I updated so soon! The same day in fact! Yay! **

**Enjoy.**

Sirius opened his eyes the next morning to find Remus' un-slept in bed staring him in the face. He rubbed his swollen eyes and grabbed some clean robes before heading to the bathroom. Once he was dressed and ready, he grabbed his books and made his way down to the great hall for breakfast. He scanned the hall carefully for a certain lanky brunette, but having no luck, he sat down next to James and Peter and began piling toast and eggs onto his plate. Today was going to be terrible. _I have to find Remus as soon as possible, _He thought.

Remus groaned and stretched in the tiny cupboard. He hadn't been able to get any sleep in the confined space. He checked his watch. Class would start in 20 minutes and Sirius, James, and Peter would be at breakfast. Remus opened the door and peered out of the dark doorway to the corridor. The coast was clear. If he were to get his books, he would need to do it now. He started walking briskly towards the common room. When he reached the dorm, he gathered his books and the Marauders' map. He cast a lovelorn look at Sirius' messy bed before catching himself and sorting his face into a stern frown. He stepped out of the common room and checked the map. The rest of the Marauders were on their way to their first class. Perfect. Remus checked his watch again. 10 minutes until class. If he walked fast he could make it. He allowed himself a small smile and started along the corridors once more. When he arrived at class, he ducked his head and chose the first available seat in the front: far away from the Marauders and as close to the teacher as possible.

Sirius saw Remus walk in. His heart tugged at his lungs achingly and eyes sharpened with pain. James looked at him and then to Remus, nodding in recognition and giving Sirius a thump on the back.

"It'll be alright, Padfoot." He ventured. Sirius just nodded and turned his head down at his textbook.

The lesson passed without incident. Sirius stared at Remus, begging him to look at him. Remus focused intently on the lecture and took notes vigorously. When the bell sounded he packed up his things and whisked away with astounding speed. He was halfway his next class by the time the Marauders had made their way out of the classroom.

The rest of the morning passed much the same way. Sirius tried to get Remus' attention but he was ignored. By the time lunch rolled around Sirius had given up. He dragged his feet on his way to the great hall. James was worried. Sirius had never been this upset about a relationship in the past. James had just assumed that he would be right as rain in a couple of hours. Clearly this wasn't the case.

Peter on the other hand seemed overjoyed. All of this was going according to plan. _Now I just need to find Remus_, he thought. _Time to go pick up the rebound! He will be mine at last. _He smiled widely, his yellow teeth flashing towards the ceilings of the castle.

But Remus wasn't anywhere to be found. He had avoided the great hall like the plague and was now curled up in the farthest corner of the library. He was exhausted. He had dark circles under his eyes and his face was pinched and drawn. His stomach rumbled loudly and Madam Pince glared at him from across the room as if it were his fault he couldn't silence his bodily functions. Remus sighed. He was tired and hungry, but things had gone according to plan. He hadn't looked at Sirius once all morning. _He must be jumping for joy_, Remus thought darkly. _I bet this is the best day of his life. He's probably loving the fact that he doesn't have to deal with you anymore. But it's good that they're happy now. All you wanted was to make them happy. Good job, Remus. Don't slip up, now. Keep your distance. _He yawned and allowed his eyes to close for what seemed like a few seconds. He was startled when he woke to the sound of the bell signaling the end of lunch. He checked his watch. Yes, time for class. He got up and yawned again. After classes he'd go and find somewhere to spend the night. He had no idea how long he could keep this up, but he figured he'd have to for the rest of the year. Besides, school ended in a few weeks. He could do this. Even if it cost him endless nights of little sleep and discomfort. Even if he was unable to eat for the next couple of days. Even if he never spoke to any of his friends ever again. He was determined. He could do it.

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Days passed and still Remus hid. He would wake up from his hiding spot in the castle, change and shower during breakfast, go to classes, go to the library during lunch, go to classes, do his homework in the library during dinner, and go to the kitchens for food after curfew. He had tried to go back to the common room to sleep in an armchair once or twice, but one of the Marauders was always waiting up for him. He didn't dare go meet them. He frequently checked the map to properly avoid his friends. One thing caught his attention. Remus noticed that almost every night, Peter would go down to the Slytherin common room. He brushed it off as Peter either making new friends or having a girlfriend, as he would stay with a large group of Slytherins every night.

Sirius was getting more and more upset. Every day he looked to Remus' face only to find it more cold and devoid of emotion than the previous day. Remus still had dark circles under his eyes from lack of sleep and he was losing weight rapidly. It had been hard avoiding Filch to go to the kitchens at night and if he was lucky enough to get there unnoticed, one meal a day was not enough for the teen. And it showed. His robes were slightly baggier than before and the bones in his hands and face were becoming even more prominent with each week. He still looked beautiful. Occasionally Sirius would catch Remus looking out of one of the classroom windows. The sunlight would hit his face and Remus would smile at its warmth, before frowning and turning back to the teacher.

"I just don't know what to do, James. I think Remus has the map. That would explain how easily he's avoiding us." Sirius sighed as they walked to lunch.

"I think you're right, mate." James frowned. He didn't understand why Remus didn't come back to the common room. Surely he didn't think the Marauders hated him.

"How are things with Lily, by the way?" James' face brightened.

"Fantastic. She had a lot of fun at Hogsmede last time and she said she'll go out again next weekend." Sirius smiled for his friend's happiness. At least he and Remus had done something nice for James by getting him with Lily. Lily seemed to be pretty happy too. She joined them at their spot on the Gryffindor table more often than not now. Sirius was surprised to find that she had a wicked sense of humor. It was more fun to make fun of James now that he had someone equally as intelligent to embarrass him. Peter just didn't seem make the bill when it came to intelligent insults. Their corner of the table was often filled with laughter and jokes.

Remus missed his friends terribly. He had talked to no one in the past couple of days except perhaps a hello or a goodbye to a teacher. Loneliness was tearing him apart. It was almost unbearable. When the full moon came around, he asked Dumbledore to fix him a cage in the dungeons rather than go to the shack. He didn't want to risk coming across one of the Marauders' animagi. That full moon was the worst he had ever experienced. The wolf tore and clawed at his hide as his own self-loathing was magnified by the wolf's rage. Teeth and nails scraped across skin, leaving gashes and lacerations in their wake. Blood spattered and pooled on the dark floor of the cage. He wanted to make himself hurt, to feel the pain in his heart even stronger in his body. In the morning, he stumbled up to the infirmary to find a horrified Madam Pomfry gaping at the state of him. She quickly tried to heal the many cuts and bruises, as well as his broken wrist, before class, but was unable to do so. Remus spent the whole day and night in the infirmary. When he arrived at class the next morning, he was covered in bandages and new scars. He looked tired and slightly sickly. This did not go unnoticed by any one of the Marauders, who were horrified at the wolf's strength and willingness to tear at its own flesh.

But Remus still missed them. One morning he decided to see his friends, as if to confirm his avoiding them was justified. He made his way through the crowd at lunch and stopped at the entrance to the great hall, poking his head around the huge doors.

There he was. Sirius Black in all his glory. Remus' heart thumped loudly. His friends were surrounding Sirius as he made another joke and the group broke into bouts of laughter. Sirius laughed and smiled as he turned his head towards the front of the hall. His smile faded when he saw Remus' head at the door. Remus' eyes widened in fright at being spotted as he whipped his head around and started running down the corridor.

"Remus." Sirius said as if dazed. He shook his head and got up, running down the great hall after the werewolf.

"Remus!" He yelled. The boy heard him and panicked. He had to run faster. He turned around a corner, then down another, his heart racing in time with his heavy breathing.

"Remus! Wait!" Sirius called.

_I knew they were happy without you. See? You shouldn't have worried. They're so much better off now that you're gone._ Remus ran, his head spinning from lack of food.

_I need to hide. _He thought as he stopped in front of a suit of armor and dashed behind it. He heard Sirius' footsteps slow and then stop twenty feet away from him.

"Remus." He heard him whisper.

Sirius sighed. He would never catch him. He turned and dragged his feet back to the great hall.

Remus let out the breath he hadn't realized he was holding. The room was spinning. He closed his eyes, and when he opened them he saw black as if he still had his eyes closed. The suit of armor glared down at him as he fainted onto the floor.

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Peter was upset. His plan had failed. Remus was absolutely nowhere to be found.

_It's your fault,_ a voice hissed inside his head. _At least when he was with Sirius he was happy. Now he's all alone. If he ever found out you did this…_ Peter shuddered at the thought. Remus couldn't hate him. He was the only one that had ever been nice to him.

_Wait, no, this is Sirius' fault. If he had never made Remus love him then Remus would probably be with you right now. It's all his fault for making him so miserable! And James. They're both in this together. They destroyed him. They will pay dearly. But now you have to find him, _Peter thought. _You have to find him and make him come back to you. You have to save him. You can't let him leave you. Find him. Now._

**A/N: There you have it. Review?**

**xoxo**

**-Rita**


	12. Chapter 12

**A/N: Hello again! So, here is chappie 12. Sorry it's so late. I'm in another country for a year and staying with a host family and they didn't have internet for me for the longest time, but now I have it so I can post this. Yay! **

Lily was worried. As soon as Sirius left the great hall she got up and began following the two boys. She passed Sirius on his way back to the hall and gave him a hug. He thanked her and continued on his way.

_Remus must be this way, then_, she thought as she kept walking. After another five minutes or so, she saw him collapsed on the floor besides a suit of armor.

"Remus!" she cried as she dropped to the floor next to him. "Oh, come on, wake up. Wake up, Remus!" she shook his shoulders and slapped his face a lightly. He didn't stir.

"Alright, please don't hate me for this." She got out her wand and muttered a quick _Augumenti. _Water splashed over Remus' clothes and face as he awoke sputtering.

"Lily! Oh thank God. I don't know what happened. Everything just blacked out and- thank you for finding me." He sat up and felt the back of his head where a large bump started to form.

"Can you stand?" Lily asked cautiously.

"Yeah." Lily held out her hand and slowly helped him to his feet. Remus brushed himself off and nervously looked around, his head flung water droplets onto the carpet with each turn of his head.

"Well, thank you, Lily, but I'd best be on my way now." Lily stepped in front of him as he turned to walk away. Her eyes narrowed.

"Not so fast, Remus." She said. "What's all this about you avoiding everyone? You look like you haven't slept or eaten in a week." Her eyes softened. "What's happened to you?"

Remus' eyes became glassy and a tear shone as it made its way down his cheek.

"You've always been so kind to me, Lily, so very kind. I- I never meant to bother you, or them. I just want you all to be happy. And _he_ could never be happy if I were around." He spat out the last sentence and looked angrily at the floor. Tears were now tracing lines down his chin, dripping onto the carpet.

"In one week school will end. Just one week and he won't ever have to see me again. I will never, _never, _let myself encroach on anyone's life like that again. To think I _believed_ him- As if anyone could ever look at me without disgust. I'm a monster." He looked at Lily only to find her eyes tearing up as well. She punched his arm lightly and reached her arms around his too-thin frame.

"You idiot!" She sobbed into his chest. "You stupid, stupid boy. How could you ever think that we would hate you? You're our Remus. Our Moony. Come back. Please, come back." She let out a wail. Remus half sobbed, half laughed as he hugged her back, in complete shock at her words.

"Look at us, we're crying." He managed quietly.

"It's all your fault, you bloody idiot!" she said laughing.

They stayed like that for a few minutes, crying onto each other's shoulders, then broke apart slowly. Lily dried her eyes on her sleeves. Remus' stomach growled. Lily laughed.

"Come on. We're going to go get you something to eat." She grabbed his hand and pulled him back towards the great hall. Remus' eyes widened.

"Lily, wait, I can't go in there!" he panicked. She rolled her eyes.

"Come _on_, stupid. Don't worry, we won't sit with them."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes! It'll be fine. Come on."

Lily pulled him into the hall and sat him down at the very end of the table, closest to the doors. James spotted them as they came in and smiled.

"Sirius, look." He pointed at the two. Sirius' head shot up and looked around frantically until he spotted them. He moved to get up, but James stopped him with a hand on his arm.

"Don't. You don't want to scare him away again. Besides, it looks like he hasn't eaten in a month."

Sirius nodded sadly and went back to staring at his half-eaten food. He stole glances at Lily and Remus from behind his shock of black hair. Remus had piled his plate so high with food that it was falling onto the table. He was shoving it into his mouth like it would disappear any minute and he would be left starving again. Lily was smiling at him and telling him about all the things he had missed in the past couple of weeks.

"-and then James asked me to Hogsmede and I agreed and now we're official! I'm so happy. And Peter has been doing very well. We haven't met the girlfriend yet but he goes off to find her all the time. I don't even remember the last time we saw him around. Anyway- " She prattled on. Remus nodded and smiled every now and again but he was too busy stuffing his mouth to reply to anything she said.

"James is doing very well. His quidditch skills seem to be improving. And Sirius- " Remus choked on his food and coughed into his napkin. Lily laughed. "That's what you get for shoveling down your food, silly. Anyways, what was I saying?"

"James. Quidditch." Remus replied. Anything to get the topic off Sirius.

"Oh, right! Well, as I was saying…" Remus sighed in relief. This next week was going to be even harder than he thought. At least he had a friend now. And he could eat in the Great Hall again. Things were looking up. He smiled and turned his attention back to Lily's James-obsession. His heart was hammering against his ribcage at being so close to people again, but the food tasted so good and he was feeling more welcome in the place he called home than he had ever felt.

He glanced down the table and his breath caught in his throat. _Sirius_. His heartbeat was suddenly painful.

James was talking animatedly and Sirius was staring at his plate mournfully.

_See? Look how upset he is that you're here._ _He was laughing before! You should never have come out of your hiding place. Leave. Leave now. _

Fortunately for Remus, the bell rang signaling the end of lunch. Remus grabbed his bag, said a quick goodbye to Lily, and flat-out ran as fast as he could to his next class.

Lily walked over to a moping Sirius and James with a frown on her face.

"He thinks we hate him." She said. "He thinks we're happier when he's gone."

"Shit." James said. "What do we do?" Sirius stayed silent.

"Well, I suppose we'll have to come to him." She smiled and held up a piece of parchment. Sirius gasped.

"Lily, is that the map?" He trailed off, his eyes wide and his face smiling brightly.

"Swiped it from his bag when he was eating."

"Brilliant!"

"Sirius…" James trailed off.

"No, James, now we can find where he is! And I can talk to him and- "

"Sirius… you can't find him." Sirius' face fell.

"Why not? I have to find him. I need him back. He can't- He just- Oh God." He put his head in his hands. "What am I going to do?"

"Don't worry," Lily said. "Me and James will convince him to come back. Just please don't say anything about the two of you together. You don't want to scare him away again."

Sirius sighed.

"You're right. Okay. I'll leave him be. Just please," His voice flooded with desperation, "Please, bring him back to me."

Lily swallowed.

"I will."

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Lily and James sought out Remus wherever and whenever they could. James asked for homework help and Lily told him all the latest gossip. Remus slowly began letting his guard down. Soon he could be seen in the farthest corner of the Gryffindor common room preparing James for the oncoming exams or talking with Lily. When the clock struck ten, Remus bid them goodnight and left the common room. He walked along the corridors smiled. He had friends again. _Friends_. He felt great. Maybe he could even sleep in the common room tonight. _Yes._ He thought. _Things are getting better._

_But Sirius._ Remus' heart gave a painful twinge as the familiar hole in his chest roared to life. _Sirius could never be your friend. No, you'll stay away from him. It's what he wants. _Remus walked for another hour or so before returning to the common room. Thankfully, it was empty. Remus curling up in one of the armchairs by the fire. It wasn't terribly comfortable but it was better than an empty classroom or a broom closet. Remus yawned as the fire started to die down. His eyelids fluttered open and closed before settling upon the latter.

**A/N: please review? It makes me write much much much faster. (/ I would really like feedback. It makes me feel kinda worthless to be writing something people don't bother to read.)**

**-Rita**


	13. Chapter 13

**A/N: Chapter 13.**

**Disclaimer: do not own characters, etc. **

Exams came and went as the last week of school passed. Peter seethed with fury. Remus was still reclusive, and it was all Sirius and Jame's fault. _He never would have been left forgotten if he had me_. He thought. And the Slytherins had plans for him. That much he was sure of.

Remus boarded the train and searched for an empty compartment. He hadn't meant to be late, but he'd only gotten to pack his trunk once everyone had left. He walked briskly along the train, peering into every compartment he passed. Nope, they were all full. He sighed and kept walking. At the end of the train he found one last empty compartment. He smiled at his luck and sat down. The train rumbled beneath his feet as it carried him back to London.

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_June _

James moves into a flat with Sirius in London. They both begin Auror training.

_July_

_August_

_September_

Voldemort begins his attacks.

_October_

The ministry passes a new law. All werewolves and half human creatures are to be registered and their wands to be taken away. They must also pay an additional tax to the ministry.

_November_

Sirius moves out of the flat and finds his own.

_December_

_January _

Lily moves in with James

Peter takes the dark mark and becomes a deatheater.

_February_

James and Lily are engaged

_March_

_April_

_May_

James and Lily are married. Remus attends, but leaves before the after party.

_June_

James and Lily move to Godric's Hollow.

Remus, Sirius, and Peter are made Secret Keepers

_July_

_August_

_September_

_December_:

Sirius took a swig of his butterbeer. Christmas eve. Lily's pregnancy was just beginning to show and James beamed at the prospect of becoming a father. The house was warm and there were presents under the tree. Sirius sighed. The year had gone by well enough. He had a job, an apartment, a motorbike…

"More cake, Sirius?" Lily asked.

"No thanks, Lily. I couldn't eat another bite." He laughed.

Remus shivered as he walked up to the front door. His threadbare coat barely kept him warm enough in the harsh winter wind. He knocked on the door, the sound muffled by his patched gloves. Lily gasped.

"Oh no, what time is it? God, Remus is early. Again." She turned to Sirius. "We invited him for Christmas." She shot an apologetic glance. Sirius' eyes widened. Remus was here. _Remus_. He hadn't seen him in a year and half. His heart thudded painfully in his chest. James ran into the room with his invisibility cloak.

"Sirius, put this on. We'll sneak you out as soon as we can." Sirius threw the cloak on as Lily opened the door. She smiled.

"Remus! Come in!"

"Thanks, Lily." Sirius couldn't believe it. That was his voice. He was really here. After all this time he could finally see him again. _You mustn't let him know you're here,_ he chided himself.

Remus stepped into the house and shook the snow of his boots. He took them off and lined them up with the rest of the shoes at the door. He frowned at the extra pair.

"Is Peter here?" He asked.

"Peter?" James stepped into the front hall. "No, we haven't seen or heard from him since July. How are you, Moony?" He stepped in to give Remus a hug. Remus winced as James clapped him on the back. He laughed. "Sorry, James. Rough moon last night."

"Oh dear. Well if you need anything, medical kit's in the bathroom." Remus nodded.

"Remus, could we offer you any Christmas dinner?" They began walking towards the kitchen. Sirius trailed along behind them, still in shock.

"Yes, thank you, Lily."

After Remus crammed his face with as much food as he could possibly fit, the three friends sat down and began talking. Sirius stood in the corner. He hung on Remus' every word.

"So, Remus, what have you been up to?"

"Well, I have a job teaching children at a local high school. They're muggles, but they're alright." He smiled. "Seems I can't do much else without a wand these days."

"How's your mum?"

"She's better. The doctors say she'll be discharged from the hospital this weekend. How's the baby coming?"

Lily blushed. James grinned.

"So far so good. The doctors say we're right on schedule." James said.

"Fantastic!" Remus smiled.

Hours passed as they talked. Sirius sat on the floor, still watching Remus. Eventually it became time for Remus to leave. He stood up and walked over to the Christmas tree. He sighed and took out three packages. "These are for you two." He said as he smiled at Lily and James. "Make sure he gets this one, yeah?" The smile became forced and his posture dropped.

"We will, Remus. Take care." He nodded and walked to the front door to put on his boots before vanishing out of the door into the snow.

"Padfoot." James called. "You can come out now." Sirius removed the cloak.

"I'm sorry you had to do that, mate."

"It's alright. I got to see him. It's been so long." He looked wistful. James cleared his throat.

"Well, um, this is for you." James held out the third package. On the label it said

**To: Sirius**

**From: Peter**

**For the bike.**

Remus had even copied Peter's handwriting perfectly. Sirius tore open the package. Inside were a pair of soft leather motorcycle gloves.

_They must've cost a fortune_ Sirius thought.

"He must've thought you could use them." James said.

"From Peter" Sirius read the words aloud. "Wait just a moment, did he give me that present last year too? And the birthdays?"

Lily nodded. Sirius was lost for words. _He still cares_...

"Where does he live?" He was going to find him. He was going to find him and get him back no matter what the cost.

"261 Mortinston street."

"Alright, well, I must be off. Thank you, both of you. And thank 'Peter' for me next time you see him." He smiled and left the house. He would find Remus.

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Sirius waited. It was agonizing. Remus was finally in his reach, but he couldn't let him go again. He needed time. He needed to make this work. He needed to not fuck up.

A month later he found himself leaning on his bike a block down from Remus' apartment. Remus' flat was situated next to a grocery store and a Laundromat. It was the kind of place where shady drug deals might take place, or lamps would flicker on and off as you walked beneath them.

Sirius checked his watch. Half passed six. Remus should be home from work any minute now. He shivered with anticipation. Was he nervous? Or was it just the cold that made him so jumpy? He pulled the collar on his leather jacket higher and shoved his hands into his pockets.

And there he was.

Shabby brown coat, hair messed from the wind, head bent in his quiet shuffle homeward. Sirius' heart beat frantically, but he willed himself to keep his ground.

Remus was staring at the ground as he came up the road towards Sirius. As he passed the grocery store, he paused, stood up straight, and looked longingly at the fruits and vegetables tantalizingly displayed in the window. He reached his hand into his back pocket and pulled out a brown wallet. Upon opening it, he sighed, looked back towards the window, then closed his empty wallet and put it back in his pocket before bending his head towards the cold and willing himself onward.

Sirius' heart thumped painfully. His mind raced. There had to be a way to stop Remus' downward spiral.

Then he grinned. He had it.

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Remus shivered in his small flat. The heating system wasn't enough to keep his skin-and-bones body warm. He was sitting at his kitchen table grading papers when he heard the door buzzer sound.

"Now who could that be?" He said to himself softly, rising from the table and walking through the bare living room. He opened the door, gasped, and quickly slammed it shut, a look of pure terror on his face. He took a deep breath, counted to three, and then opened the door enough to peek one eye out into the hall. There, covered in snow and carrying two grocery bags was a very nervous looking Sirius Black.

"Hello, Remus." He smiled. Oh god, he was beautiful. Remus practically melted on the spot.

"H-hi Sirius." He managed to say, opening the door wider. "What brings you here?"

Sirius looked sheepish and turned slightly pink.

"Um, well, I was on my way home and my bike broke down. It was snowing pretty hard outside so I called James and he said you lived around here, so I thought I'd stop by for a visit." He glanced down. "If that's okay with you, of course. I wouldn't want to intrude."

Remus was torn. Should he shut the door and continue to live his dreary life without Sirius, or should he let him in and make Sirius deal with him for company for a couple of hours? To him it was obvious that Sirius was just extremely desperate to get out of the cold. Why else would he come to Remus' dingy apartment unless it was his last resort? Nevertheless, Remus wasn't a person to leave anyone, especially someone he cared about much more than himself, out in the cold.

Remus surrendered and stepped out of the doorway.

"Come on in." He said, looking at his shoes.

Sirius beamed. "Thank you. I really hope you don't mind." He walked past Remus and the doorway.

Remus frowned and pushed the door. It closed with a resolved click.

**A/N: next one will be up as soon as I've written it. I can't make any promises on how long that will be, but just know that I'm trying.**

**Hugs!**

**-Rita**

**p.s. review?**


	14. Chapter 14

**A/N:** **chapter 14!!! Here it is. I'll post 15 when it's written. Sorry it's so crappy. If I had time/an editor it would be a world of difference better. **

Sirius stared around Remus' living room. The walls were a bay leaf green but the room was completely empty except for a very large metal cage in the farthest right hand corner. Remus cleared his throat. "It's not much, but make yourself at home." He said. "I was just grading some papers in the kitchen." He led Sirius through a doorway into a tiny yellow kitchen. A white table with two chairs sat in the middle under a red ceiling lamp. On top of the table was a neat stack of children's reports. Sirius sat down in the chair opposite the stack and placed the grocery bags on the floor.

"Can I offer you some tea?"

"Yes, thank you." Remus opened one of the overhead cabinets and reached back to find a lonely box of teabags. He opened another and produced two very mismatched mugs. He placed both items on the table before filling the kettle and placing it on the stove.

"I'm sorry, I don't seem to have any milk or sugar. I forgot to buy some on my way home today." The lies came out easily to Remus. If there was one thing he couldn't do it was to alert Sirius to his situation. He leaned against the counter and looked down at his shoes. Sirius' heart gave a painful twinge, but he put on his best smile and said "That's alright, I didn't want any anyways."

Remus looked at him and gave a faint smile back.

"So, how have you been?" Sirius' smile fell.  
"Alright, I suppose. Auror training is going well enough. I have two more years to go and then I'm ready to work at the Ministry. Yourself?"

"I-I'm doing great." Remus forced a smile and looked away. The kettle started its low whistle. Sirius' eyes narrowed, hostile. He knew Remus was lying. How could he not?

"You sure about that?" He said in a soft voice. Remus looked back at him, his eyes slightly glaring.

"Yes." He said firmly. To Remus, if he believed it, it would be true, wouldn't it?

The kettle was screaming now. Remus turned and busied himself with the mugs and teabags.

"Here we are." He said, handing Sirius one of the mugs and sitting down in the other chair. His heart was racing. He was here. _He_ was _here._ And Remus couldn't run, or hide, or pretend he didn't exist. His past three years of misery amounted to nothing now. Everything he had worked so hard for, practically became a muggle for, was slipping through his fingers like smoke.

He curled his hands around his mug and breathed the warm steam in, closing his eyes and allowing himself a peaceful smile. Sirius watched him. He observed new scars, his bone-thin face, how his shoulders slightly shivered as if he were cold, even in his sweater. He observed how the tips of his blue fingers were reddening to the mug's warm temperature, how his brown hair fell into his face, how his forehead wrinkled from stress. Sirius absorbed every detail of Remus and stored it in his memory. He was beautiful.

Remus opened his eyes, and Sirius quickly glanced away. Time for phase 2 of the get-Remus-back plan

"Well, tea is all well and good, but I was wondering if I might borrow your kitchen to make some dinner. I'm famished." He flashed his trademark grin. Remus paled.

"W-well, um, yes, if you'd like to but, ah, I'm afraid that I don't have any, um, well, to be perfectly honest, I don't have any food. Like I said, I forgot to go to the grocery store and- yeah." Remus stammered and looked into his mug.

Sirius grinned ever wider.

"That's okay. I brought some." He held up the bags. "I'll only take a minute. You finish grading your papers and I'll have dinner ready by the time you're done." He stood up and moved to the cabinets, opening them to find pots and pans.

"Oh. Okay." Remus managed to get out before he reddened and turned to his work.

Sirius busied himself with cooking. _What was that muggle saying?_ He thought to himself, _"The way to a man is through his stomach." _He chuckled to himself. If that were true, he could possibly have Remus back that night.

_Well, it's worth a shot, _he thought.

Remus could barely concentrate on his papers. The tantalizing food smells made his stomach growl, and Sirius was humming around his kitchen. He couldn't believe it.

_He's not cooking that for you. _Remus chided himself. _He probably assumed you've already had dinner. That is, if he cared enough to actually think about you in the first place._

Remus frowned and tried to read another line of his student's report. It was no use. He wasn't going to get any work done tonight, even after Sirius left. There was no way he could possibly think about anything else except for Sirius now. The way he smiled as he chopped carrots, the way he pushed the unwanted bits of vegetable away with the edge of the knife, the way he held the knife, so much like the way he did when they were in potions class at Hogwarts…

Remus mentally slapped himself. This was Sirius he was looking at. The man he had successfully avoided for almost 3 years. And besides, it hurt to look at him. Each glance was a stabbing reminder of how inadequate, how alone, and how pathetic he was. Remus looked at his own hands, both resting on the table, one lightly grasping an uncapped red pen. How skinny they were, his hands. And his wrists. The top of a long scar poked out of his thin sweater. How thin his wrists were next to the flat planes of his hands. He shook his head. Sirius didn't want these hands. They were too big, skinny, and more importantly, not a woman's.

Remus was interrupted from his thoughts by a particularly loud stomach growl.

_Dammit, _he thought. _How embarrassing. Now he'll know you're fucking starving._ He hurriedly stared at the paper, pretending nothing had happened.

Sirius pretending not to hear, stirred the pot and frowned.

"Remus?" Remus glanced up, frightened.

"Yes?"

"Taste this for me, would you? I think it needs a little more salt."

_Oh, this really is cruel_. Remus' mind knew that if he tasted some, it would make it all the harder not to eat. Nevertheless, Remus dutifully got up from the table and went to the pot. Half drunk from the smell, he dipped a spoon into the stew Sirius had prepared and slipped it into his mouth. Sirius eyed him carefully as he closed his eyes and savored the taste.

"It's delicious." He said, opening his eyes and flushing slightly. Sirius' heart throbbed and he forced a quick smile.

"Good. Then it's ready." He lifted the pot off of the stove, got out a bowl and ladled some stew into it. Remus looked at his shoes and sat back down at the table, forcing himself to keep reading reports and to ignore the nagging feeling of hunger in the pit of his stomach.

Sirius cut two thick slabs of bread and placed them by the bowl before placing the entire thing in front of Remus, who looked up, startled.

"Sirius, I think you put the bowl in the wrong place. You're sitting over there, remember?" Sirius chuckled.

"That's for you, silly."

"What?! Oh no, I already ate before I came home." Sirius frowned.

"Why are you lying?"

"I-I'm not!" Stammered Remus.

"Yes you are. If you had eaten already, your stomach wouldn't have growled like that and you wouldn't be looking at the bowl like it was a million galleons." Remus glanced up at Sirius. He was right. Remus sighed.

"I'm not hungry, honest."

Sirius wasn't done talking.

"Why are you lying?"

"I'm not!" Remus' eyes darted. He couldn't let Sirius know. He couldn't.

"What happened to you, Remus?" Sirius' eyes softened, his gorgeous features concentrating in a look of plain hurt. Remus clenched his fists.

"Fine." He surrendered. Shame burned in his face. "If you really must know, I'm broke. I can't fucking afford food. I can't fucking afford anything. The Ministry's werewolf tax takes away about half my paycheck and the apartment and hospital bills take the rest." He glared at Sirius. "There, are you happy? Go ahead, laugh if you want. Take away all my dignity. It's not like I ever had much anyway." He stared pointedly at the tabletop and his clenched fists.

Sirius looked at the floor, sighed and then turned to the pot on the stove. He got himself a bowl and ladled some stew into it for himself, slowly cutting a slice of bread before bringing it all to the table. He sat down and began to eat. After a few bites, he spoke.

"I'm sorry." He said. Remus looked up and stared in disbelief. The reaction was the exact opposite of what he was expecting.

"What?" he asked softly.

"I'm sorry." Sirius repeated. "You've been treated terribly. I'm sorry I was too scared to come by sooner. I could have helped. I-I could have done something- I mean, Merlin, Remus." He ran a shaky hand through his hair. "You look like you're half starved to death, you have nothing in this place. It looks like you've forgotten how to act your age." It was true. Remus looked about 30 now. He had just turned 20 two months previously. He was still considered a child by adult standards. Remus crashed.

"Sirius," he said "I have a job right now because the school thinks I'm 35. It's not much, but it's the best I can do since the Ministry took my wand. My mother's sick, Sirius. I can't act my age. It's not possible for me to be a spoiled kid anymore. I have to be realistic-" Sirius cut him off.

"Remus, being realistic doesn't mean shutting everyone out. Do you think James and Lily want to see you wasting away? It's okay to be spoiled around us."

Remus couldn't help it, his eyes started to brim over with tears. He furiously wiped them away with his sleeve.

"There. Now you're acting your age." Sirius said.

Remus crossed his arms on the table and dropped his head into them. His shoulders shook with silent sobs. He had been struggling alone too long.

_But you can't possibly rely on Sirius._ His mind told him. _He can't stand you, remember? And now you're making Lily and James worry. Good job, Remus. Everything means nothing now. Everything backfired. You know what comes next, right? There's only one way to make sure you never bother them again. You have go do it. You have to go. They'll be happier-_

A pair of strong arms wrapped around his shoulders and cut off his train of thought. Kneeling down on the floor next to Remus' chair, Sirius pulled Remus to him. Remus stiffened slightly at the contact but didn't push him away. After all, how could he? They stayed like that for a few minutes, Remus crying and Sirius holding him tightly. When Remus' shoulders had finally stopped shaking Sirius stood up and walked back to his chair. "Now come on, cheer up, mate. Eat. I made it for you." He smiled again, digging his spoon into his bowl.

Remus blushed and rubbed his red eyes. He looked at his own bowl for a minute before grabbing his spoon and shoveling the food into his mouth. It tasted like heaven to him. He closed his eyes, savoring every flavor he had forgotten. Sirius watched him eat. Little by little the color was returning to his cheeks. His beauty struck Sirius. His angelic face stretched in a smooth expression, the stress lines in his forehead vanished.

In a ten minutes Remus was up from the table filling another bowl. This too was empty in another ten minutes. Then Remus sat back, full for the first time in 2 and a half years. He looked to Sirius.

"Thank you." He said. "You're so kind, Sirius. I've always admired that about you." And then Remus smiled genuinely for the first time in 2 and a half years. The sight of it struck Sirius and blood rushed to his face.

"Erm, It's nothing, really." He said awkwardly. They both sat in silence for a few minutes, then Remus frowned.

"Oh no." He said.

"What is it?" Sirius frowned in concern.

"It's nothing, I just- oh shit I'm gonna hurl." Remus got up and ran through a door in the left corner of the kitchen, through his bedroom, and into the bathroom. Sirius heard retching noises as Remus threw up his dinner.

After Remus had finished and brushed his teeth, he came back into the kitchen.

"God, I'm so sorry, Sirius. I- I think my stomach isn't used to food- I didn't mean for- I- Shit." He sat down and covered his face in his hands. "You can leave if you want." His words were muffled by his arms. "I don't want to make you stay."

_That's right. _Said the small voice in the back of his mind. _Push him away._

Sirius sighed, he couldn't give up just yet.

"Is that what you want?" Remus looked up.

"What?"

"Do you want me to leave?" He gave Remus a piercing stare. It was now or never. He could walk out that door and never return.

_Tell him yes. Tell him to leave. Do it. Now._

"I-"

_Tell him!_

"I… don't." He failed. He couldn't push Sirius away. No matter how hard he tried, his self control wasn't that strong. He could only leave. But here, in his own apartment, he couldn't hide. He couldn't pretend that he didn't need Sirius.

Sirius himself let out a breath he didn't know he was holding in, relief evident on his gorgeous face.

"Alright then." He stood up, retrieved Remus' bowl, and refilled it. _Good thing I made enough, _he thought to himself. He placed the bowl back in front of Remus.

"Try again, Moony. Slowly this time, okay?"

_Moony._ Remus' heart fluttered.

"K-kay." Remus said. And for now it really was okay.

**A/N: and since I am in Italy for the year, cyber-gelato to all who review. ******

**Hugs!**

**-Rita**


	15. Chapter 15

**A/N:**

**Disclaimers: Do not own, etc.**

**WARNING: there's a lemon in this chapter. If its not your thing just skip the end. **

**And a very large THANK YOU to purple-psychopath** **for editing this chapter! I really appreciate it. **

**On with the show!**

It wasn't until after Sirius left that Remus realized Sirius could have apparated with his motorcycle, therefore eliminating the need to spend a few hours at Remus' apartment. He wasn't sure how he felt about that. Why would Sirius visit him? And more interestingly, why would he lie about his motives? Caught in between wanting Sirius and wanting Sirius to be happy, Remus debated what to do next. He could ignore Sirius' actions and continue like before, or he could prey on Sirius' kindness once more. _He might think you're just spending time with him for food, _Remus thought. _How pitiful._

After all, how could Remus ever repay him for his kind actions? Each time Sirius smiled at him Remus felt a little guiltier. It wasn't Sirius' fault Remus couldn't take care of himself. It wasn't his fault Remus selfishly forced a smile and preyed on Sirius' efforts again.

_This has to stop._ _You're being ridiculous. Pay them back._

It was time for Remus to grow up like he should have done 3 years ago. It was time for change. Remus smiled. _Time to go grocery shopping_.

It was as if a switch had flipped in Remus' mind. He wouldn't hide any longer. If life was for the living, Remus was going to live the hell out of it. No more pretending he was a zombie, dragging his feet through a nine-to-five and grading teenagers' apathetic reports. He was determined.

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Peter's keys clinked as he laid them on the counter. He flicked on the light and peered around the room. He rubbed his temples as if to work away a headache.

The night had started out like any other for Peter. He had been outside Remus' apartment trying to work up the nerve to ring the doorbell. But tonight was different. He had parked his car in its usual spot and gotten out to walk around the corner when he saw Sirius Black leaning by his motorbike and blowing in his hands in an attempt to warm them. Remus came around the corner as he always did. Peter saw Sirius stare at him, itching to follow him. When Remus had disappeared into his apartment he saw Sirius get up and enter the grocery store, only to come out again five minutes later with two grocery bags. Peter watched in horror as Sirius followed Remus' trail into his apartment.

Peter went back to his car. He sat there for 4 hours until Sirius came out again.

_The nerve of him_ Peter thought. _I almost had him. If I hadn't been such a bloody coward- no. The Dark Lord wouldn't want that. I can't spoil the plan. I'll wait. I will have him._

So Peter stood there, alone in his kitchen, agonizing over what he couldn't do.

_I will have him_.

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The next morning Remus went to school with a wide smile on his face. He went straight to the Headmaster's office and threw his birth certificate on the desk. The headmaster looked baffled and then picked up the paper to read it.

"I never went to college either." Remus grinned at him. There was fire back in his eyes.

"Wha- I- You- bu- how-" The headmaster huffed, his bushy mustache quivering.

"I'm fired, aren't I? Now, I realize that you probably need me to finish out the semester, so I will, but I won't be coming back after that." Remus grabbed the paper and strolled out of the office and across campus to his classroom. He breathed in the cold winter air and felt freer than he had since his first year of Hogwarts.

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When he got off of work, Remus went furniture and household item shopping. He bought a couch, an armchair, dishes, glasses, bedding, and a couple of lamps to improve his apartment. After making sure the store would deliver his purchases, he walked home with a jump in his step. Stopping at the grocery store, Remus bought five full bags to stock up his fridge. Later that night he opened the cookbook his mother gave him when he moved out.

Sitting down to a warm bowl of pasta, Remus browsed through the job search section of a muggle newspaper. Circling a few, he promised himself to visit them the next day. Afterwards he cleaned his dishes and went to bed thinking about the brighter times that lay ahead. Who knew a visit from a friend could turn his life around?

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Sirius visited Remus a couple more times during the week. He was astounded to find food in the fridge and new furniture. Remus himself looked brighter.

"I got a new job." Remus told him enthusiastically over warm mugs of tea on the new couch. "It's a lot better paying. I start in January."

"Congratulations!" Sirius smiled for him, secretly hating the fact that now he didn't have an excuse to take care of Remus. Instead, Sirius told Remus all about how James and Lily were doing, his job at the Ministry, and the Order.

Next Friday, Remus had joined the Order much to the surprise and happiness of James, Lily, and Peter. Peter was so shocked and happy that he hadn't been able to talk to Remus the entire night.

_Why was I ever put in Gryffindor? _Peter lamented. _I don't have enough courage to even talk to the bloke._

Eventually life became normal. Remus was eating more. He now had enough energy to exercise and build back some of his muscle definition. Sirius and Remus visited James and Lily every Wednesday night and went to Order meetings every Friday. Every Sunday Sirius would go to Remus' apartment for lunch, where they traded off cooking every week. They would hop on the couch and watch variety shows on Remus' new color television.

"These muggles are so weird!" Sirius exclaimed. "What in Merlin's name is 'The Ministry of Silly Walks' **(1)**? And why is that man trying so hard to submit one? It makes no sense!" Remus laughed at him.

"It's _pretend_, Sirius. There's no such thing as a 'Ministry of Silly Walks'. It's supposed to be funny."

"Well, it isn't. It makes no sense." Sirius pouted in his corner of the couch. Remus bit his lip both to keep from laughing and to keep from commenting on how adorable Sirius looked when he was grumpy. He quickly looked back at the television. Sirius glanced at him and was suddenly transfixed by Remus' lip slowly gliding out from between his teeth.

_Aw, why's he got to be so goddamned sexy! Alright, Sirius. It's been a couple of weeks. It's now or never. Either he still loves you or you're about to make a complete fool of yourself._

Sirius took a deep breath.

"Hey, Re-"

"Sirius? Oh, sorry. You go first." Remus blushed.

"No, it's fine. Go ahead." _Damn. I'll have to tell him another time._

"Well, you know how Martha is always looking at you?"

"Martha? From the Order?"

"Yeah."

"Really? I haven't noticed."

"I think she fancies you."

"Oh. Okay."

"Well?"

"Well what?"

"Do you like her?" _Keep it casual. Steer him away from you._ Remus told himself.

"Yeah, she's alright." _Oh shit, I know what's coming next_. Sirius thought.

"You should ask her out." Sirius winced at the words and felt his heart crack a little more. Remus kept his eyes trained on the television. His face remained unconcerned and apathetic, his perfect mask. _Well, at least now we know he doesn't love you anymore_.

"I never said I liked her like that." He said softly, Remus had to strain to hear it.

Sirius had to get out of there. He had at least hoped that he could slowly win Remus back. _I guess that isn't possible._ He thought bitterly. He stood up, trying to keep from shaking in hurt and anger.

"I've got to get home." He said to the floor. "Thanks for having me over."

He walked to the door and stepped into the hallway. The door closed behind him with a thud. Remus watched him go unhappily. He hadn't meant to scare him off. He glanced at the empty space on the couch cushion Sirius had just vacated. His jacket was still there.

_Shit, he can't go home like that._

"Sirius, wait!" Remus grabbed his jacket and ran to the door.

Sirius had his back against Remus' door and his head in his hands. He had been musing over the fact that all of his dreams were dead when he heard his name. Suddenly the door was not at his back anymore and he was falling on top of a very surprised Remus.

"Oomf."

"Ow!"

"God, Remus are you okay?" Sirius stood up quickly.

"Yeah. I'm alright." He sat up, holding the jacket up to Sirius. "You forgot your coat." He stood up.

"Oh. Sorry." Sirius took it and turned to go out the door again.

"Wait." Remus grabbed his wrist and pulled him back into the apartment. "I didn't mean to make you upset with the whole Martha thing."

"It's okay. No harm done." Sirius managed a weak smile and again turned to go. Remus pulled him back again.

"Well obviously there was. So, I'm sorry." He closed the open door. "Stay a little longer? I was just about to make some tea." Sirius looked at the hand over his wrist. Remus quickly retracted his arm and blushed, faltering. _Maybe it's not a lost cause after all_. Sirius smiled more to himself than Remus.

"Alright." He plopped himself on the couch again. "But after this I really must go." He flashed his killer grin at Remus who reddened again and felt his heart beat a little wilder. He quickly left the room to go make the tea. Sirius gazed at the television pondering the reactions he had just seen.

_Time for phase 1 of the Get-Remus-Back-So-We-Can-Live-Happily-Ever-After-Forever-And-Ever-Plan. You've got to handle this delicately. No declarations of love or flowers or anything. That'll freak him out. You've got to think. Hmmm…. Seduction it is then. _Sirius looked at his attire: Fitted button down shirt? Check. Remus' favorite slightly tight pants? Check. Beautiful, silken, devilishly handsome hair? Well, he thought so. _Better undo a few buttons on the shirt,_ he thought.

_Alright, time for action._

Remus came back with two mugs and a small plate of cookies 5 minutes later. He set then down on the coffee table in front of the couch and sat down, taking into account that Sirius was now sitting half on his own cushion and half on the middle cushion, leaving only a half a cushion between him and Remus. _Oh bugger._ Remus thought. _You'd better control yourself, Remus. No mistakes now, okay?_

Sirius reached for his mug and blew on the top to cool it down a bit. He noticed Remus going in to reach for a cookie and quickly reached for one too, bumping his hand with Remus'. The brunette grabbed his hand back as if he'd been burned.

"Sorry, mate." Sirius muttered to him and dunked his cookie in his tea before munching happily on the treat.

Remus' eyes traveled down Sirius' figure. His shirt revealing a little bit of perfectly sculpted chest, his pants that fit a little _too_ well, his beautiful face, eyes staring at him with a tiny bit of lust- _No. Stop it, Remus._ He glanced away.

"Something wrong, Remus?" He turned back to face Sirius.

"Uh, no. It's just, um, you've got some crumbs around your mouth."

"Oh, do I?" He flicked his tongue out to catch them. "Did I get it?"

Remus was too distracted by his tongue, his eyes, his nose, those lips, everything. He shook his head, clearing it of those thoughts. _No falling, Remus_. He quickly reminded himself.

"No." He answered Sirius' question. It was true. There were still a few crumbs on the right corner of his mouth. Sirius tried again. He ran his tongue suggestively over his lips. Remus blushed and quickly looked at the mug in his hands. Sirius grinned in triumph. He was almost there. All that was left was to go in for the kill. His heart was thudding in his chest. _Well, Sirius, now it really IS now or never._ He reached over and slid the mug out of Remus' hands. Placing it on the table he yawned and turned to Remus.

"I'm sleepy. You're gonna be my pillow, 'kay?"

"Wha- Hey! You can't- wha-" Sirius ignored Remus' attempts at objection and leaned his back against the other boy's chest, grabbing Remus' arms and wrapping them around his shoulders. He then turned his attention back to the TV. Remus hoped like hell that Sirius couldn't feel his accelerated heartbeat. He wanted to get up and run but at the same time he wished he could stay like this forever. He looked down. There was Sirius' neck. It was so close, so smooth. He was pressed with the overwhelming urge to kiss it. Not anything much, just a peck. He wrestled with his mind. His heart told him to go for it, to love Sirius, but his brain told him that he'd be all alone again if he did. Remus' internal struggle was cut short by Sirius yawning again and snuggling his back even closer to Remus, making Remus' arms wrap even tighter around his torso. Remus lost it. All the self control he'd spent years cultivating into a fine art. He leaned his head down every so slowly and laid a soft kiss right below Sirius' jaw bone. Sirius stretched his neck further, encouraging Remus to keep going. He lifted one of the arms off his chest. Thinking he had yet again made the mistake of believing Sirius could ever want him, Remus quickly tried to unwrap his arms from Sirius' body. Sirius held his hand in place gently.

"I'm so sorry, Sirius. I didn't mean to- I- I never meant to, Christ, what is _wrong_ with me." He stumbled over his words. Trying to find a way to get around his actions. Sirius paid no attention to him, examining the hand attached to the arm he was holding. He turned the palm towards his face, looking at all the lines traced on his hands and the scars on his arms. He brought arm towards him and kissed Remus' wrist before laying the hand on his face. He glanced at Remus' eyes, large with fright and surprise. Two sets of eyes dared the other to turn away, say it wasn't true and walk away and never come back. Sirius let go of Remus' arm, and turned to face him, never taking his eyes off of the other boy's for a second. He stood up and pulled Remus' up with him. Both boys waited, adrenaline coursing through their veins. Remus raised his hands and put them on Sirius' waist, pulling him slightly forward. There were still a couple of inches between them. Sirius reached his fingers around the back of Remus' neck, resting his thumbs on the corners of his jawbones. Slowly, both boys leaned in. They closed their eyes and their lips touched lightly. They pulled away and opened their eyes. Both smiled nervously, lust barely concealed in their eyes. Remus pulled Sirius closer until he was pressed flush against him. He ran his hands slowly up and down Sirius' back, realizing how much he had missed it and how good it felt now. Sirius leaned forward and kissed the corner of his mouth, his forehead, his neck, everything he could reach. Remus guided them through the kitchen and into his bedroom, letting Sirius go long enough to push him onto the bed before crawling on top of him. He leaned his head down to give Sirius a searing kiss.

_He's not pulling away. He's not disgusted. _Remus felt a bulge in Sirius' trousers. _He actually seems to be enjoying it well enough, doesn't he? _He smirked against Sirius' mouth. "Having a little trouble staying calm, are we Padfoot?" Remus said huskily, reaching down to brush his hand against the growing "trouble". Sirius gasped and Remus moved his hands up to undo the rest of the buttons on Sirius' shirt. Fumbling with them, he let out a growl of frustration and ripped the shirt clean off of Sirius' chest. Sirius paused, extremely turned on and a little frightened of just what Remus would do with him. He decided to take matters into his own hands. Flipping them over, Sirius pulled Remus' t-shirt over his head and attacked his neck and chest with his mouth, carefully observing new scars and silently cursing himself for causing a few of the deeper ones. He slid his hand up the inside of Remus' thigh, smirking when he caught the hitch in Remus' throat. "You don't know what you do to me, Moony." He said, moving his hand farther up ever so slowly. He leaned down, "Now how shall I punish you for it?" he whispered into his ear. "Come here." Remus grabbed his shoulders and pulled their bare chests together. "I want to feel your skin on mine." He nudged his knee between Sirius' legs, feeling Sirius' erection digging into his hip and knowing full well that Sirius felt his own in the same spot. Sirius moaned into the crook of Remus' neck when Remus shifted his leg. Satisfied with producing such a result, Remus shifted again, enjoying the sounds the other boy made. Sirius bucked his hips into Remus' thigh. That did it. Remus sat up and crawled out from under Sirius. His hands fumbled for his belt. Sirius placed his hands over Remus', stopping their frenzied motion. He moved to the buckle and undid it with shaking hands. He pushed Remus back gently onto the bed and removed his pants, leaving him in boxers. His eyes roamed over Remus' slightly built body. Remus squirmed uncomfortably and moved to Sirius, looking pointedly at his crotch.

"Those need to come off." He said as me moved to undo Sirius' pants. He pushed him back the same way Sirius had just pushed him and removed the offending article of clothing. Reviling in the power of producing Sirius reactions, he decided he would have a little fun with him before he did anything else. He ran his hands down Sirius' chest and stopped at the edge of his boxers, fingering the edge and smiling at him. Sirius groaned with impatience. Remus grinned at him and picked up Sirius' pants. Taking the wand out of his back pocket, Remus conjured rags that quickly bound Sirius' arms to the bedposts.

"Hey! That's not fair!"

"What are you gonna do about it?" Remus challenged, placing the wand on the bedside table. He moved his hands to Sirius' thighs and fingered the edges of his boxers on the insides of his legs, slowly sneaking one finger, and then another, inside the cloth to caress the soft skin of the boy's upper thighs.

"N-nothing-g." Sirius bit his lip to keep from moaning.

"I thought so." Remus smirked and pulled Sirius' boxers down to his ankles. Surveying his handiwork, Remus had yet another brilliant idea to tantalize the squirming body in front of him. Standing up, he removed his own boxers before nudging Sirius' legs apart and kneeling between them. Then, he slowly ran his hands down his own body, moaning as he touched himself.

"Oh now that's _really_ not fair, Remus." Sirius squirmed all the more. Remus closed his eyes and wrapped a hand around a very happy little Remus, pumping slowly and groaning ever louder. Sirius strained against his bonds, whimpering at the show Remus was putting on for him.

"Please, fuck, Remus, let me go."

Remus stopped his hand and opened his eyes.

"No." He smiled evilly. "But I will help you." He crawled out from between Sirius' legs and pushed them together. He stuck his fingers in his mouth, slowly sucking on them and driving Sirius wild with thoughts of what else that mouth could do. He then lifted Sirius' legs onto his shoulders and slowly fingered Sirius until he was satisfied with the result. He then positioned himself at Sirius' entrance.

"You ready?"

"Yes. Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes." With this Remus slammed himself into Sirius, earning a grunt and a groan from Sirius.

"Again. Shit, move, Remus!" Remus pulled out and slammed into him again, this time wrapping a hand around Sirius' member and pumping it in time with his thrusts. Sirius moaned.

"Fuck, that feels so good. Don't stop. Don't fucking stop."

Remus panted, grunting and groaning as the sensations wracked his body.

"Sirius."

"Yeah?"

"I'm going to, I'm gonna, fuck, I-" Remus pumped Sirius faster with his thrusts.

"Faster, Remus."

"I'm going to-"

"Oh God!"

"Sirius!" Remus came hard and fast, his body shaking with the force of it. Sirius came two seconds after and both boys fell onto the bed exhausted. Remus untied Sirius' hands, which Sirius immediately wrapped around Remus.

"I'm never letting you go again." He said into Remus' chest.

They fell asleep like that, holding each other tightly. Never letting go.

**(1) So, I realize that my chronology might be slightly off. I'm not sure which year of the Monty Python series that the "Ministry of Silly Walks" sketch appeared. It might not have been when Sirius or Remus were around either. You've probably guessed by now (if you've read this far into the story) that I don't particularly care about chronology. Sorry! **

**And for all of you who haven't seen the sketch, I highly recommend looking it up on youtube or something (if you like monty python. I dunno, some people don't).**

**Anywho, thanks for reading!!! (I think this is the longest chapter yet. o_0 **

**-Rita**


	16. Chapter 16

**A/N: Hello again! It's been too long. Sorry for not updating blah blah blah (college apps kill, you know), but I am pleased to announce that I am a second semester senior now, and subsequently, I have oodles of free time in which to write or otherwise laze about. But you're not here to read about my silly (albeit busy), life!**

**So, on to the story!**

**P.S. I don't usually like fluff, but this chapter seems to have a lot of it, so please bear with me. :D**

Remus woke to the sound of deep breathing. His head rested between the curve of someone's neck and shoulder and his arm draped lazily over a firm chest. He recalled the previous night's events and silently cursed himself. _Now you've done it. Now you've really screwed the pooch, haven't you? _(**A/N: Sorry, I couldn't resist. XD)**

He carefully sat up and pulled a shaking hand through his hair before donning a robe and padding into the kitchen. He put the kettle on and sat down at the small kitchen table to think. He felt dirty. He had fucked his best friend. Taken advantage of him. _It's not his fault he responded the way he did,_ Remus thought. _ His body only reacted to your filthy hands. He couldn't control it. Goddammit, that was practically rape! Merlin, Remus, you made him _touch_ you! Why? He'll never forgive you, you know. _

_You're going to have to leave again. _

Remus stood up and went back into the bedroom. Sirius was still in the bed, a soft smile tugging at his lips as he slept. Remus felt a stab of guilt and pain, worse than any injury he had suffered during full moons. After everything Sirius had done for him, given him life, Remus had fucked it all up. And now, he had not only lost his love, but also his friends, as they belonged first and foremost to Sirius. He could respect that, he decided. He could live without them.

He grabbed his rucksack from the closet and stuffed some clothing into it. Then, he got dressed for work, hastily drank some tea, and, with a final and painful look at Sirius, he left the apartment, letting the door close softly behind him.

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Sirius blinked at sunlight streaming in through the windows. He yawned and smiled. Last night had worked perfectly. Now he would roll over to a sleeping Remus and kiss him softly awake. He would stare into those amber eyes, and tell Remus he loved him. How he had searched for him, all these years. How he had hidden at James and Lily's over Christmas months ago. How he had never wanted to kiss that bint in the library all those years ago, how very, very sorry he was that he had, and how he was going to make Remus happy for the rest of his life.

Sirius rolled over, but no smiling, sleeping Remus greeted him. A small blue card rested on the vacant pillow. He snatched it up, eyes scanning the paper.

Sirius

I made you a promise that I would never force myself on you. Last night I broke it.

I'm sorry.

Don't worry. I won't try to find you again.

I'll be back to collect the rest of my things in a few days.

Thank you for everything

Moony

Remus was leaving him again. Sirius crushed the note in his hands and threw it onto the floor. _He can't leave. He can't leave me. I won't let him. _Panic stiffened his limbs._ This has gone on long enough. _He thought angrily. _I won't stop. I'm going to find him and I'm going to punch him in his stupid insecure face. _Sirius' anger drove him out of bed. He stumbled into his clothing, discarded on the floor and winced as he stood, sore from last night. Sirius all but ran out of the apartment to the office where Remus worked.

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Remus pressed the buzzer and a loud "It's open!" greeted his ears.

"Wormtail?" He ventured into the small apartment carefully and closed the door behind him.

"Remus!" a round face peeked out of the doorway to the living room. "Come in! I was just having breakfast." Peter squeaked. Remus walked into the kitchen. "Can I offer you some eggs or toast?" Peter asked nervously.

"No thank you, Peter. I have a favor to ask you." Remus looked tired. Stress lines had re-appeared on his forehead and dark circles smudged the skin under his eyes.

"Anything for you, Moony." Peter said timidly. Remus gave him a small smile.

"Could I crash here for a few days? The lease ran out on my apartment and I haven't found a new one yet." A myriad of emotions crossed Peter's face. _This could be my chance._ He thought. _But will I be able to control myself around him? Oh no, what if I do something stupid? But I could spend time with him and maybe show him how good being with me would be. _

"Of course, Moony! What are friends for?" Remus gave him another tired smile.

"I have to go to work, but could I drop my stuff by a little later?"

"Yeah. Just put it wherever you'd like."

"Thank you, Peter."

"No problem."

After Remus left Peter contemplated the situation he had just gotten himself into.

"What am I going to do?" he groaned. "Don't worry, Peter. Just roll with it. Don't mess this opportunity up. You aren't likely to get a second one." He smiled, small yellow teeth parting his lips back in a snarl. "He will be mine."

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"REMUS JOHN LUPIN" Sirius bellowed upon entering the sea of gray cubicles. The residents of the nearest cubicles stared at him in alarm, while one rather stout balding gentleman shushed him with a finger to his lips. Sirius glared at the man and strode down the aisle, searching each cubicle for evidence of his almost-lover.

Remus jumped at the sound of his name and looked up in horror at Sirius' angry face glaring into each little office square. He dropped to his knees and crawled under his desk, desperately trying to avoid what promised to be a rather messy confrontation between himself and a man who appeared to _really_ dislike him right about now. Remus closed his eyes and prayed to remain unnoticed as Sirius steadily approached his cubicle. He heard Sirius' footsteps pass, and for a few fleeting seconds Remus thought he was off the hook, until they came back and stood right in front of his desk. Sirius looked at the framed picture on the desk in front of him. Lily and James' happy faces smiled back at him through the glass. _Gotcha_. Sirius grinned cruelly, crouching down to face Remus huddled under his desk.

"Boo." Remus gave a muffled squeak and curled his arms tighter around his knees. Sirius grabbed his wrist and pulled him out from under the desk in one swift movement. Without a second's hesitation, he proceeded to lead Remus out of the office door and into a janitorial closet down the hall. He shoved Remus inside and closed the door behind him. A light bulb flickered as it hung from the ceiling, casting eerie shadows on their faces and emphasizing the angry lines etched into Sirius' expression.

Remus turned his head away.

"Is this going to take long? I was just in the middle of a report before you interrupted." He said defiantly.

"This wasn't how I wanted to do this." Sirius growled. "You didn't leave me much choice."

"Look, I'm sorry. I know you're mad at me-"

"I love you." There was a pause.

"…Sorry?" Sirius blushed, but he would not look away. He couldn't lose now. Not after all he'd done.

"You're beautiful and kind. You always listen to me. You're the nicest person I've ever met. You stand up for others. You're gorgeous. You make my heart stop every time you look at me. You're hot as hell, and damn good in bed. You- I- I can't stop. I tried. I really tried, but those years without you only made me want you more. I-" he took a deep breath and squeezed his eyes shut, before opening them and capturing Remus' gaze.

"I love you."

Remus was speechless. He instinctively moved to gasp Sirius' fingers with his own.

"Padfoot-"

"And then", Sirius continued, swinging his hand away. "and then, We have sex and I feel like maybe we have a chance, and you _leave_. After I had been trying to find you since bloody Janet practically raped me with her mouth in that stupid library years ago, after I scared myself shitless at the weight you were losing, your lack of sleep, caused by your fucking self righteous torture, after thinking that I'd lost you forever, after hiding in Godrick's Hollow just to get a glimpse of you, after making up stupid excuses to see you, and worst of all, after praying that you could ever feel the same way about me: you fuck me and ditch me like last week's dirty laundry." Sirius' anger melted. His shoulders hunched, defeated. "It hurts so much. I love you, and it hurts too much. I'd do anything be with you. Why can't you see that?" He drew in a shaking breath. _Come on, Sirius. _He laughed darkly.

"Tell me you don't want me, I don't care. Just stop running away, because I'll chase you. I'll follow you until you can't run anymore." He dropped his head to Remus' shoulder, all anger replaced by bitter disappointment and shame. Remus wrapped his arms around Sirius and pulled him as close as he could. Slowly, Sirius' arms copied his actions as the brain controlling them tried desperately to stifle the hope rising in his chest.

Remus rested his chin on Sirius' shoulder, and, allowing himself the tiniest bit of confidence, he angled his mouth to whisper into his ear.

"I love you too."

Sirius gently pushed him away and Remus willed himself to watch Sirius' reaction. If this were a joke, he would know instantly. However, Sirius' expression remained unreadable.

"Do you mean it?" Sirius raised trembling hands to cup Remus' face.

"Yes." _Pause_ "I always have." He pulled Sirius closer. "A couple of months ago you taught me how to live again, and I allowed myself to prey upon your kindness once more. Wanting you wasn't supposed to interfere with our friendship. I- I didn't mean to use you last night. I was only afraid you didn't feel the same way." He searched the gray eyes before him. "I guess I didn't need to be afraid." Sirius could have cried in relief. He crashed his lips to Remus' and pressed his body as close as he could. Remus tightened his hold on Sirius' waist and returned his kiss enthusiastically, hardly daring to believe himself.

_Sirius loves me. Sirius _loves _me. _

And for the first time since he'd been bitten, Remus John Lupin did not think he was a monster.

Sirius broke the kiss and Remus began nipping and kissing his jaw and neck.

"So," he drawled, "does this mean you'll move in with me?"

Remus grinned against reddening flesh.

"Only if we can share the bed." Sirius' tongue darted out to moisten his suddenly dry lips.

"How about we start sharing right now?"

There was a loud crack in the janitorial supply closet Sirius and Remus had entered not 15 minutes before. The office workers glanced up from their computer screens at it suspiciously. The balding man went over to investigate, but there was no one there.

"What was it, Bertie?" A rather large woman called from her swivel chair.

"I haven't the foggiest. Nothing seems out of place." He called back. And with a disgruntled huff at the closet, he waddled back to his work.

**AN: So, it's 1 in the morning and I really couldn't be bothered to spell check or edit. I have a plane ride at 6:45 back to school tomorrow morning so I should get maybe 3.5 hours of sleep before I have to get up. Yaaaaaay. The things I do for you people. (except not really because I never write. Sorrysorry!)**

**Anyways, I hope you liked that chapter. I'll try to get more stuff out when inspiration strikes me (as it obviously did today). Thanks for reading! :D**

**I'll stop rambling and go to bed now.**

**3**


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